Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Porn star

I had this post in draft for awhile now titled "adding to the load count".  Recently, I was browsing some blogs and started to do some deeper dives and came across MindTrip's Starfucker page.  What I saw was a bit of a shock that made me have to change the title of the post.  Then one of the first blogging buddies I had corresponded with posted a thing about fucking a porn star.  I pretty much took that as a sign to finish up this post.

I had the day off and was horny as hell. So, I went back to enjoying being the "new meat" on adam4adam and started browsing the profiles.  Damn, he was hot.  He had a ton of face pics and just one body shot in the pose he favors the most: all fours with his perfect bubble butt in the air.  He's a cute cub type.  Only about 5'6" but nice, compact and muscular.  Goatee and strong masculine features.  I only have two inches on him, but my dick instantly responded to the though of man handling him and tossing him around.

I shot him a message and he wrote back instantly.

"Kinda short on time now, but I'm ready for it.  Already got two loads in me."

"I'm fifteen minutes away.  Want a third load?"

"Yeah, come on over."

And I was at the door fifteen minutes later.  He was different.  A rare breed that was direct and knew what he wanted.  All action.  And since he was so direct, I stood at his doorway and had a hunch that it would be unlocked.  I was right.  I didn't bother ringing the doorbell to announce my arrival.  I just turned the handle and pushed it in.  And there he was in his living room.  All fours.  Ass in the air.  Perpendicular to the door so that he could see who was coming in.  He smiled and then hung his head down, back in position.  I think I passed the inspection.

I made over to the throw that he laid out, already stained from previous guests.  His perfect body drew me in.  Two seconds was just too long to make my way over.  I couldn't get there fast enough.  His perfect bubble ass was even more impressive in person.  And on all fours like that, I could see the outline of his triceps making the perfect bulge and dimple from holding up his upper body.  His broad back was strong and tapered in a bit to his waist.  A body that has been shaped by a gym, but not obsessively so.

By the time I ripped my clothes off me and met him on the throw, my cock was already rock hard and pulsing.  Just a big of lube, just in case.  It totally wasn't needed.  And I slid my cock up his perfect ass.

It was amazing.  Just the perfect amount of resistance.  Not too tight, not too loose.  Just the right amount of pressure that sucked me in after I got the tip in.  And the heat!  It's the heat that I love about fucking a freshly fucked hole.  It's that velvet feel, the slick ease as I drill, and that extra heat from a hot load that was deposited there earlier, kept warm by a bottom's internal oven. 

It's hard to describe.  It was only my second time ever fucking in a loaded hole that wasn't my own juice and both times it was the heat that I remembered most.  In actuality, it's probably not the temperature, but the unique textures that were dancing across my cock in addition to a slight heat.  But it's something really personal.

I've engaged in piss play and it's that same personal temperature that I found unique.  Maybe it's an american obsession with making drinks ice cold, but the moment a stream of piss hits my body, I jerk in the intensity of the heat of the liquid.  It's not something I expect.  And it's a warmth that is totally natural, born from the depths of his core, warmed there and delivered naturally to me.  A part of him is produced and when I've taken it from the tap, fills my core with his heat.

It's something similar with a loaded ass.  Whatever it is, something about cum makes me acutely aware that I'm inside someone.  Really inside someone.  And that load is a reminder of how beautiful the human machine is and what it produces.

The extra cum starts to froth around my cock and around his hole as I'm churning the cum inside him.  I honor his time and don't hold back.  I just fuck until I feel the need to lose my load boil up.  Then I plant it deep, collapsing on top of his back and reaching under to hug him tight.  Love feeling his fuzzy chest as my cock is trying to add as much juice to his hole as it could, twitching inside deep.

When we finally separated, we chatted for a bit.  I was still struck by how beautiful he was and told him so, but he played it off talking about how he's added a few pound that he'd like to shave off his body.  He was looking down on his body and rubbing his belly to call out the offending weight.  I didn't let him get away with that.  I stopped his hands, felt up his body the way I saw him, and pulled him close to a deep kiss that he broke with a smile.

We then chatted about his decorations, which were profuse.  I just didn't know where he store everything afterwards.  It wasn't cluttered at all, just profuse.  And I was struck by how such a hot guy was just so down to earth and nice.

It was that sentiment that was echoed in MindTrip's section on porn stars that made the connection for me.  His pics were familiar, but it was so out of context that I didn't put two and two together.  And then the blurb about him being such a sweet guy just flipped the switch for me.  Funny thing is, I went back to my porn collection and I have a few of his videos.  Funny how that goes.

I recently messaged him from adam4adam.  I fought the urge to let him know I recognize his work.  I just want to be a part of the next gang bang.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The inked up cub

Sometimes, you meet a guy that turns you on so much that you either get performance anxiety or you cum barely getting your cock up his ass.  His face was to the side, eyes closed, moaning, "Just pound it in me and let go."  He knew my dilemma.  It happened the last time.  I tried to distract myself by examining his ink work.  An elaborate tattoo that was etched all over his back, like vines crawling up a wall.  But as my eyes traced the patterns, I was distracted by the sight of my raw cock pushing into his ass.  Just a peak of the crown before I slammed it home and saw the force of my fuck ripple across his ass.  That was enough to bring attention to the velvet feel of his ass dancing across my cock.  And that pressure.  Like a plug fitting into a socket, the initial resistance before the socket gives way and sucks the plug into its depth and bottoms out.  Over and over until I couldn't hold back and planted my load deep inside his ass.

Our first encounter was about two years ago.  It was shortly after Halloween as I distinctly recall not being sure if the apartment was always decorated with skulls and dark artwork or if it was just decorations that haven't been cleaned up and needed to be stowed away.  We met on adam4adam and what drew me in was his kind eyes that stood out in contrast to his rough exterior.  A cub with ink snaking down his arms, giving a stoic, tough guy look with eyes that betrayed his true personality.  So I basically invited myself over and he was waiting for me on a mat in the living room with lube and a condoms to the side.  The sight was unexpected and hot as hell, but I just couldn't get hard enough.  Then the fact that I couldn't get hard totally fucked with my head and it was game over... until he told me to stick it in him raw, but to pull out before I came.  That got my juices going and I was hard as a rock.  But I barely got my cock in and I felt like I was going to shoot.  So I pulled out, stuck another condom on to try to deaden the sensation and plugged him up again.  But even then, I was ready to shoot after a few short strokes.  I couldn't help it.

I was a bit surprised that after so long, he'd still remember me.  I was even more surprised that he'd invite me back.

During my little two day spree, I had logged back onto adam4adam after being distracted by other sites and apps for hooking up.  I came across his profile again.  Some new pics, but still cute as hell.  He's classic cub.  Mid-thirties with a baby face, solid beefy build and some scruff.  For some reason, I expect him to be my height, but he's actually 6' tall.  Just something about him makes me think he's a kid...  With a lot of ink.  Enough to snake down his arm, peeking out of a sleeve to stir your curiosity.  That strange mix of tough and sweet.

Today, I had some time and hit him up.  He responded immediately.  And if there was any doubt to whether or not he remembered, he texted me, "Same scene?  I'll be in the bedroom this time."  Of course, maybe it's the scene he always does while hooking up on adam4adam, but there was some other things he said that made me think differently.  And I'm okay if I'm just telling myself a lie right there.

This time, when I got to his place, it was decked out in Christmas decorations.  I pushed open the door framed by giant candy canes to meet an obstacle course of playful artificial representations of winter, around the Christmas tree laden with fun to hit a wall of sweetness (ginger bread men cooling off on racks in the kitchen) and rounded another corner to meet a perfectly framed ass obscenely presented to me with lube lying nearby.  It was that discordant juxtaposition of the kid and the adult, the playful and the serious, the photo of his stoic face and joyful eyes, all of that resonating in physical form.  And as strange as it was, it totally made my dick hard.

Porn was playing on the TV, but I didn't pay much attention.  Instead, I quickly shed my clothes and hopped on the bed to land face first into his ass.  He's only the fourth guy I've ever rimmed, but damn he turns me on.  He was on his stomach, head buried into the pillow grasping a pillow to his chest.  His legs were spread apart in a way that made his ass turn up just a bit to present itself to me.  He pointed his dick down to give me the option of licking him from the tip of his cock to his shaft, over his balls, his taint and over his hole.  And that was what I did.

Any apprehension I had with my inexperience was quickly abandonned as he moaned appreciatively at my attentions.  Swirling my tongue around his hole...  Licking, sucking, and blowing on his pucker.  Pulling back to watch it wink at me, beckoning me over.  Tongue fucking so deep I was about to suffocate.  I was hungry for his hole and my cock was aching.  He was aching for it too.  Everytime I pulled back, his cock oozed precum.

I couldn't take it anymore.  Without a word, I hopped up onto his back and my cock glided over his hole from my secretions.  His ass made my mouth water and my cock drool, so nothing else was needed.  The lube was just lying there discarded to the side before it was even introduced.  I reached down and ran my hand under his chest and held him even closer to me as my body pressed him onto the mattress.  He was done being teased.  He wanted it.  With the next glide he shifted his ass and my cock was lined up with his hole.  I kept a steady pressure until I felt it give way and quickly hit bottom.

I definitely lasted longer than the first time.  Minutes ticked by when I fucked him hugging him close to my chest.  Then raw animalistic passion took over and I put all my weight onto my hands pressed into his lower back as I fucked him.  I pressed his head into the pillow when his moans got too load.  Clawed at his back.  Grabbed him by the top of his shoulder and in one thrust, pushed his shoulders down to get my as deep as I could.  His body shook at that point.  I went deep.  Real deep.  And I made my cock pulse for extra measure.  That was what brought me to the edge, the edge I tried to distract myself from by analyzing his tatoo.  He knew I was really close, because I had to pause every few strokes.

"Just pound me.  Let it go.  I don't care, just keep pounding me."

Such dirty words from a sweet looking face.

When I left, I checked my watch.  Even with the exteded rim job, undressing and dressing, I was only there for half an hour.  I was still rock hard after I shot, but he was getting sore.  I was pounding pretty hard.

Good grief.  30 mins.  I know I'm better than that, though. 

He said it takes him awhile to cum.  My aim next time is to outlast him.  I have a feeling I'll fail once again.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Old buddies and new (part four)

(The final part of the series...)

I only had four hours of sleep (maybe even less) before I had to go to work the next day.  I was antsy all day at work.  Couldn't focus at all.  But it wasn't because I was tired.  Instead, I knew I wanted more.  Two loads down the hatch and my own pasted all over a bud's face over the course of five hours and I still wanted more.

When I got home, I immediately jumped back onto adam4adam and a guy that had emailed me the night before messaged me again.  I've seen his profile before.  In fact, I think we even hooked up.  But he threw me for a loop when he said he was visiting from out of town.  I'm usually great at remembering all of the people I play with.  I might forget little details but I always remember what made the meeting great or not so great.  Then it hit me.  We hooked up two years ago when he was in town for work. It's rare, though, when I don't remember anything about the encounter.  Nothing good.  Nothing bad.

I knew I had to change that though.  I was going to make it something that I remembered.

I got to his room really quick.  Too quick for him to prop the door open and wait for me on all fours as I had asked.  Instead, he greeted me at the door with a sheepish look and immediately turned away.  But he didn't turn away fast enough for me to not recognize him.  He's a late thirties guy with trimmed goatee.  Smaller guy, about my height.  Great for me to manipulate and toss around a bit.  Despite the fact that he had on a white undershirt, I could tell he was relatively fit.  And I remembered him having a nice fuzzy chest with delicate hair that I liked to rake through to find a nipple to pinch.  Though he had a shirt on, he was naked from the waist down.

"Sorry about that.  You got here a lot quicker than I thought you would."  I didn't quite get the intruder seen that I asked for when we emailed earlier.

He made up for it by assuming the position on the bed and presenting me with a hot, smooth ass.  Like a true pig, his ass was already lubed and he had Magnums lying next to him.  Gotta love a bottom whore that loves big dick so much he doesn't buy condoms for himself but for the type of guy he wants to fuck him.

I didn't waste any time.  I stripped quickly and then used my hands to spread his legs far apart so that his ass would hinge shut and create a tight crevice for me to invade.  As it turned out, I didn't need to put that extra effort.  As I came up behind him, I quickly threw on a condom, spat on his hole to rehydrate the drying lube and jabbed in like a boxer dancing in a ring and surprising his opponent with an attack.  I jabbed and jabbed.  Each time I jabbed, I'd hit a wall as his ass clenched down to the foreign invader.  I wasn't doing it to loosen him up.  I was doing it to make him feel me and feel the animalistic hunger I had to dominate his hole.  I was going to have to break through his wall.  I grabbed his shirt and used it as reigns and with a roar, I shoved in deep and felt his resistance give away.  Fuck he was tight.  Much tighter than I thought a guy would be carrying around Magnums for his tops.  So tight that his hole had such a grip as to not allow any of the condom in.  Instead, my cock was straining against the latex and I felt like I popped through.  I was almost sure of it.  I could feel might cock gliding through the condom as if the condom was yet another sphincter.

It turned out not to be the case.  After hammer it into him, I got distracted by the sensation and pulled out to check.  It was still intact.  I ripped it off anyway and tossed it at his head, letting him know I took it off.  Before I could say a word, he backed up onto my fuck stick and took me balls deep again.  He wasn't as tight anymore.  Apparently, my rough fuck tore down his defenses.  Or maybe his need took over and sucked me inside him.  Either way, my raw cock was being milked a bit more gently now.  I took over and slammed it home over and over til I was at the tipping point and pulled out.

"No...  What's wrong?" he asked as he tried to back up onto my cock again.  But it was too late.  I sprayed my load all over his swollen hole.  Thick doodles across his ass and over his hole.

And there I was panting, trying to catch my breath.  My head was buzzing.  Did I accidentally stealth him?  I was pretty sure he saw and felt the condom I threw on him.  Either way, I could almost see his contented sigh as he felt my load on his ass.  In the meantime, I washed up to go home.

I finally felt drained.  And satisfied.  And later he messaged me to thank me and told me he'd look me up when he's back in town next month.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Old buddies and new (part three)

(The previous installment of this story is located here.)

With load two now in my belly, I went back on Adam4Adam and checked out my "friends" list to see if an old bottom buddy of mine was still online.  He was!  And surprisingly enough, he messaged me first.  Sure, I have no problem being the one to initiate things, but it kinda feels nice being the one that's chased for a change.

He's a beautiful kid.  Late twenties, about 5'5" but perfectly compact.  He's not ripped, but his proportions are just right for his size.  A constant five o'clock shadow that accentuates his strong jawline.  Intense eyes that I could lose myself for hours in and a pleasantly pliable personality.  A pup that's eager to please that's curiously at odds with some really strong and masculine physical features.

But it was taking awhile for him to pull the trigger and come over tonight, though.  Why?  He hasn't been much of a bottom lately.  I tried to lure him with the pretense of just oral, but he saw right through it.

His response?

"totally a possibility....but ur dick is gonna put me on my back"

And I knew that's how we'd end up even if I came over just for oral.  I've known this phenomenon back as a bottom.  Sometimes, you meet a guy that's just the perfect size and shape to hit your sweet spot and makes you cum hard.  I'm not huge by any stretch.  And I've seen and played with plenty of guys that were thicker or longer.  But I knew with him, me just pounding away will just naturally hit that spot of his so just touching his dick sets him off.  My cock just fits him like a perfect pair of well-worn jeans that just feels natural hugging the contours of your legs, thighs, waist, crotch...

But a part of me also wondered if he was hesitating because last time we fucked was the first time we did it raw.  So I asked him about it.  He denied it being the reason.  In fact, we had moved further onto the conversation and he brought the subject back up.

"are we on the bb thing again?"

Actually, no.  I wasn't even talking about that.  I read my last message.  I wasn't even sure how barebacking fit into my last reply.  Chatted some more and then finally:

"okay, come on over and i'll let you bb me.  and i'll try to hold off.  i love it when you cum"

Not sure how that follows my question of "you still have those neighbors in the duplex?" but hell if I'm going to turn down an invitation after getting blue balls from my last two encounters.  He just needed an hour to clean up.

So an hour later and I'm at his door knocking with nobody answering.  Fuck!  Was he pulling my chain?  Did he chicken out? 

I went back into the car when I saw the shadow of a guy stumbling past my door.  He bumped into the wall and he stumbled around the corner.  I followed suit and sure enough, he was nowhere to be seen.  He must have been my bud and went inside.

I knocked and he answered the door with a huge grin.  "Heyyyy!" he said, rocking a bit just standing upright.  Damn he was wasted.  He couldn't have been nearly as drunk as that when he was messaging me from adam4adam.  One thing's for sure, he's not gonna tense up much when I enter his fuckhole.  And better yet, I'm pretty sure he's going to last awhile while I'm fucking him.

I practically dragged him upstairs to his room where he turned on the fan to drown out the noise a bit.  Then I ripped the clothes off him before I tossed him onto the bed like a rag doll.  I was so horned up, I really couldn't control myself.  I practically choked him as I facefucked him.  His face was a mess from the saliva I was pulling out of him, violating his throat.  I didn't even need any lube at that point to fuck him, but I slapped some onto his ass just so my fingers could explore a bit and see how tight he was.  With that, I hoisted a leg over my shoulder while I pushed the other off to his side and slid into him with a persistent slow shove.  He let out a loud moan, one that was uncharacteristic of him in terms of volume as he was drunk, but one that was very familiar as one that is scaled back always escapes his lips when I hit his happy spot.  His face twisted into a grimace, which when I first encountered it a couple years back I mistook for pain.  Back then, he whispered, "No, don't stop.  Keep going."  I didn't need to be told that this time around.  I just jabbed at the spot I knew he loved and his dick was pulsing every time it hit it's mark.  I kept at it for awhile, changing up the tempo or the angle just slightly to keep it fresh until the feeling of his tight hole gripping my raw shaft was just too much for me to handle.

"You want this, don't you?" I asked, right at the brink.

"Yes, yes!  But..." There was a short pause that felt like an eternity for a guy that's about to cum.  "Cum on my face..."

I knew he wanted my load buried deep inside him, but he just wasn't ready to say it, even with that much liquor in him.  But the thought of his pretty face plastered with cum and ass juice also turned me on.  So I did as he asked.  I came.  Hard.  Six spurts of cum flying into his hair and across his face before my I smacked his face with my cock to hear the wet thud of lube, cum, and ass fill the room.  His tongue involuntarily darted out and lapped at it before he realized what he was doing and reached for a towel.

Damn, he looked like a hot little pig with his face plastered like that.  I would have loved to stick it back in and tried to fuck a load out of him, but I knew that'd be a mistake.  Part of the thrill with him is the feeling of being used.  But after he wiped his face, I couldn't help it but collapse next to him and pull him into my arms as I wound down a bit.  I got up after a bit and lazily put on my clothes as we caught up a little with some idle bullshit about the beach. 

I finally lost my load.  So I walked back to my car a bit relieved. But in the back of my head, I knew I'd still want more.

(Final part to come in a couple of days)

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Old buddies and new (part two)

So with a load in my belly and a still fully loaded nutsack, I wanted more.

I went to adam4adam for the first time in ages.  Surprisingly, not much has changed.  A lot of the same folks, with some new ones added in.  A lot of times, I don't end up meeting a guy from a4a because we both can't host.  This one guy that I've always been interested in was one of those guys.  But I can't tell if the hosting dilemma was really the reason why or if I'm afraid I already know him to a certain extent.

He's a closeted guy that lives under a mile away from me.  The odd thing, for being a supposed closet-case, is that he has full, clear face pics on his profile.  And it's that picture and the things he says in his profile that makes me think there might only be a couple of degrees of separation between us.  Yeah, I know Los Angeles is pretty big, but I've run into so many acquantainces randomly at different places that I know it ain't that big.  It's a city of niches.  Once you find a community you feel like you belong to, it's almost the same as any small town with everyone knowing everyone and gossip flying about.  So, judging from his profile, we both hang out with the 30-something beer-guzzling beach bum crowd.

But his pic also makes me want to bed him bad.  'Cause I kinda know what kind of guy he's going to be:  laid back, quirky, typical "chill" californian.

Second problem: he's only looking for a suck/hand job.

Okay.  Let's face it.  That realy wasn't a problem.  My other bud already turned the switched for me so I was in the mood to suck some cock.  But still.  After having the taste of cum in my mouth, a surge of energy goes through me.  I get high on the fact that I had control over another guy and made him cum.  And that makes me want to fuck the hell out of a guy to lose my own load.

So that was the actual problem.  I wanted to finally get this guy's nut down my throat, but I also wanted to fuck as well.  It was just at that instant when I noticed an old tried-and-true fuck bud log onto the site.  So I hit them both up!  Since the other guy was closer, it'll work out.  Quick blow and go with a new bud and then a final release into my old fuck bud.

Ben, the closet-case, was on his way in just a few minutes after I arranged it all.

"Fuck, it's cold out there," he said when I opened the door.

"Then get your ass in here."

Little chuckle. "And I'm just down the street too.  Wasn't out there that long!  So, which one is the nosy neighbor?"

I had told him to take this weird route to get to my front door.  I basically got nailed (not in a good way) by my neighbor for having a hook up swing by.  It's a topic of a blog that's been in draft for a month now.

"God....  It's that one," I said while swinging my thumb towards the direction of my next door neighbor.

And there it went.  That easy banter from that beach bum circle.  A totally different easy from my "stroke bud", James, of the previous hour.  That came from just knowing each other for over a decade.  This was different.  An acknowledgement that we're strangers but a tone of familiarity and comaraderie.  Even the friendly touch of him through my clothes.  A friendly arm draped across my shoulder, light hand on my chest.  And then he attacked me and started to pull on my clothes.  In a rush, we ripped our clothes off, only pausing long enough for me to stare at his chest and say, "Damn."  Perfect frame.  Broad shoulders, defined pecs, a bit of a tummy, but all nicely displayed with dark and trimmed fur.

"Yeah," he said, running his hand across his chest playing with his body hair. "I grew it all myself."

Ha! "You did a good job.  Nice work!"


Back to the groping and he was fascinated by my hard cock, which was already dripping with precum from the last session.  But I wasn't sure I could handle another long session without losing my old fuck buddy bottom and not getting blue balls.

So I pushed him back into the couch and dove in.

Ben's musk was distinctly different than stroke bud James.  It was sharp.  It wasn't overwhelming, but it was sharp and reminded me of the first guy that ever fucked me.  Whereas James was sweet yet dark smelling, Ben was sharp and almost metallic.  I took a deep whiff in and I could taste it at the back of my throat.  Fuck, the memories it brought rushing through my head.

"Since I'm down here, you mind if..?" I asked.  We had said we'd start off stroking and see where it goes from there.

"Yeah, go for it."

I swallowed his cock.

There's nothing better than feeling a guy's cock swell inside your throat.  He wasn't vocal.  Didn't give me much direction.  But just feeling it swell and pulse was enough to let me know I was on the right track.  It had a strong curve up, so I got off my knees and laid down perpendicular to him with my head in his lap.  At that angle, I was able to twist my head a bit so that the curve of his cock glided across the natural curve of my tongue straight to my throat.  And he loved it.  It pulsed again and blocked all air passage making me choke.  But I kept on it.  This angle also let him play with my cock, which made him swell even more.

I couldn't keep it up though.  My eyes were starting to water with me choking myself on his log and suffocating me on every downstroke.  Back to my knees and I was sucking hard.

"Can I cum down your throat?"

I didn't answer.  I couldn't.  My throat was filled.  I just gurggled. 

With that, he held my head down and shot his load straight down my throat.

Fuck that was hot.  And it made me horny as hell.  I practically kicked him out and shoved him out the door to see if my bottom bud was still online for a drilling...

(Part three to come...  and that isn't the last part either)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Old buddies and new (part one)

I had a rare evening free, so naturally I went to all my old hookup site haunts and got my fill of dick and ass.

First off, I tried Craigslist.  I still browse craigslist but don't take any of the ads really seriously.  The majority of them feature jocks for a quick hookup, which would be great if the pics didn't all feature abs as ripped as the porn sites they were stolen from.  But it's still good porn and I like making little stories in my head about the people that place them and what they end up doing, which probably isn't half as exciting as the truth.  And then you get the rare ones.  The ones that you can tell come from real people that aren't just there to get off on the excitement of possibilities, of trading pics and getting off on lust and desire, but are there to actually commit to hooking up.  I spotted one and was pretty confident that I knew who it was, prompting me to respond and confirm my suspicions.

He's a pretty stunning, tall guy with an easy laugh and addiction to playing with his willy.  He tries to disguise his stats, varying his age a bit and his true height, but the ad has some key words that immediately clue me in.  First of all, he only asks for a "stroke buddy", never hosts, and throws around the diction of a guy also cheating and really wanting nothing but some no-strings fun.  I can't tell if he's trying to change his ad a little to keep it fresh, throw his partner off his scent, or keep some stalkers at bay.  He's changed his email address a number of times over the course of the decade that I've known him, but I'm not quite sure why.  But the fact that he tries to make himself a little more average and less distinct than his 6'5"dimensions lead me to believe it's the latter two possibilities, him trying to disguise his hunt for a buddy from his partner.  And since I don't want to be the stalker guy he's trying to shake, I don't ever use the cell number I have or the latest email address I have from him.  Instead, I just respond to his ads when I'm available.

He came over and he made me remember why I love hooking up with old fuck buddies.  Kudos to the Promiscuous Top for being honest about the excitement of a new guy and wanting to spread his seed around to as many new fucks as possible.  I definitely can relate.  But there's also something to be said about meeting up with an old bud, knowing how to push all the buttons, and getting off on pushing the envelope just a little more.  The beginning chitchat wasn't awkward, it really was just an attempt to catch up on the half a year/year since we last met.  And when we got to the couch, it was like two magnets that placed a little far apart but just close enough to snap together from their own attraction.  Tender kisses alternating with passionate tonguing.  My face exploring his every crevice and his fuzz scratching at my cheek while it danced across his chest to take in a nipple in between my lips.  His cock flaring out underneath his black trunks when my breath reached through the material to add to the heat between us.  And the quick intake of breath when I chewed at it a little through the material.  We spent two hours just rolling around, making out, and grinding into each other before we started to try to get off.  My brain clicked onto service mode and got off on the sighs of pleasure that escaped his lips while my own mouth licked every part of his body.  He especially liked it when I played with his balls and the sensitive area where his balls met the inner thigh while he was sitting back on my couch and I was kneeling before him.

Then I took in his hole shaft in one swoop.

He nearly screamed as I did this, us building up to this moment.  I slobbered over his knob til my drool was escaping and running down his balls.  His hand involuntarily reached out to my head, wanting to push it all the way down to shoot when I pulled back.  He was close.  I brought him to the edge but then pulled away.  So his hand instead landed on his cock and he gave it a squeeze, trying to recreate the warmth and friction of my tongue and throat, before I slapped his hand away got up from my knees and ground my cock into his ass while planting a deep kiss on his lips.  When his breath settled down a bit, I swooped back down to bring him to the edge again.  Over and over this happened until at one break, I was lapping up my own drool that was running down his balls.  Some if it dripped lower, which I used to press my finger against his taint and finally tease his hole.  He responded favorably, even scooting down further on the couch to give me more access. I took charge and lifted his thighs so his legs were in the air exposing his hole.  I surprised even myself when I dove in and licked his hole, hungrily lapping at it and chewing on the light fuzz of his crevice.  Smelled his musk, lapped at his old sweat, and that foreign taste that suddenly made my head buzz and my cock turn rigid.  He couldn't help but start to stroke again, but I wouldn't have him lose his load by his own hand.  I wanted to control it.  So I took over jerking his cock while I lapped at his hole and he shot high above his chest. Seven volleys of hot cum sprayed across his lightly furry chest.  I attacked him.  Slurped up all that cum all over his chest before taking his cock in my mouth again to drain him of his last drops while he shuddered and buckled from sensitivitiy.

I swallowed, but knew I still had him on my lips.  So I kissed him and made him taste his own spunk.  Pulling back, he grinned.  It's been over a decade since we first met.  We settled into our bodies a little and he's starting to grey a bit, especially at the temples, but he's still as adorable as ever.  We started off as pure stroke buddies, evolved to making out, then just recently to me sucking him off every now and then.  I grinned back at him.  With that, I sent him back to his partner.

But I, on the other hand, was still hungry.  (Part 2 to come out shortly)

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The ex-cop

"Magnums?  Really?  Now that's some confidence," he said as I tore open the package.  I only half smiled at his comment.  He was on his back with his legs spread on either side of me.  One was bent and angled at the moment, but he started to straighten it out, starting to tense up knowing what was going to come up next.

"How big are you anyway?"

I knew what he was doing.  Looks like I was going to have to shut him up and call him out on it.

"It's doesn't really matter," I said.  "You'll feel how big it is in a second so quit trying to stall.  You know you want it.  Deep down, you fucking love getting dick up your ass."

His smile faltered for a bit.  His cocky, tough-guy bravado dropped for a second.  A facade he puts up to protect himself, something he learned early on when he was a cop.  Showing any kind of weakness will get you in trouble, so you put on an air of authority.  But I knew what he really wanted was to let go and just passively enjoy the ride.  At this point, we had already tumbled around in bed for over half an hour.  His macho posturing had only made me more passionate in my kissing as I pulled and hugged him hard.  He even noted how, although we were the same height, he outweighed me by a considerable amount of muscle and could easily throw me off him.  But he doesn't.  Even as he said it, I could feel his body relax a little and give in to the attentions and relish in not having to take charge.

But then he recovered.

And now we're here with my cock in my hands spreading a liberal amount of lube up and down the covered shaft.

"You're the first Asian guy I've been with that uses Magnums."

God, we're back to this again.

I answered by throwing one leg over my shoulder, aiming it has his hole, and pressing in.  And I knew that shut him up as he sighed.

He was tight.  Really tight.  Tight enough for him to hurt me as much as I was gonna hurt him with my rock rigid meat.  But as I stared down at him, I leaned in a little harder with one hand on his chest and threw my weight against it so that he can feel all of me pushing into him.  And his hole relented.  I could feel his ass flower open enough for me to inch in, slowly, in what seemed like hours before I was halfway through and past his defenses and his hole gave in.

I stayed for a sec.  Balls deep.  Just letting him get used to it.

His heart was pounding against the hand I had on his chest, so I eased the weight off of it.  If I had any doubts whether it was to much, it was immediately erased when he raised his legs in the air and used them to wrap around me a bit and pull me in deeper.

I fell forward and gave him a deep kiss as I long dicked him.  Slowly in and slowly out so that he could feel all of me.  When he started to feel more loose, I explored every position and tempo to see what would get him going.  He was rock hard throughout.  Jack hammering with me holding his ankles up high towards his ears.  Long thrusts with my hands on his waist pulling him into me.  Short deep thrusts, pulling his ass apart to get even deeper.  Tossed him on his stomach, driving my body onto my palms placed on his lover back and driving in hard enough to hear the slap of my balls ringing in my ear. Then on all fours and power fucking his ass doggie-style until he whispered out of breath, "Fuck, no, no.  Stop.  I think I'm making a mess."

I knew I went in really deep.

I tossed the dirty condom away and knew that he'd had enough.  There were a lot of things in his head he was wrestling with.

I lied back on his bed, flat on my back, while he was propped on one shoulder looking at me, looking really sheepish.  Haltering words and idle chat as I pulled him into me, giving him permission to snuggle up next to me.  Slight resistance, but he relented when I pulled his head onto my chest and he then naturally curled up half on top of me like a kid.

And we just laid there in silence for a bit.  My hand tracing a path up and down his back over the rippling hills of his strong muscles lining his broad shoulders, pushing through the sweat that has started to cool.  I'm a little surprised at how much he was sweating on this cool autumn day when I was doing most of the work positioning him around taking his weight in most instances so he could focus on the sensations.  I let him lie there, his stubble scratching me as my chest raised and fell, and let his ear cup against my chest to have him hear my rapid heart rate gradually slow down until it was back in tune with my breaths.

"I had some wine before you came, you know.  Drank a bunch of it down to calm myself down."

"I know.  I could taste it."

That was the best thing I could come up with to acknowledge what he was feeling.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Virgin Ass (part 2)

So, the reason I was so nervous with the 50 year-old virgin was that I had previously wielded the responsibility with such carelessness that I was really ashamed for awhile.  You may want to read that one first.  It's probably a better read.

He was a college kid home for the holidays a couple of years back.  He was a freshman.  Just turned 19 and I was really flattered that he'd be into a guy that was a dozen year his senior.  And it was the first time where I wasn't the younger guy chasing the older dude.

I came out early and started experimenting sexually when I was 14.  Even before then, I remember sneaking peaks through a slit in the door when my father was watching porn.  I got really frustrated when he started pausing the videos for the close-up shots of a girl's snatch.  I really didn't care unless there was a hard cock fucking it.  Eventually, I got rid of the cognitive dissonance and realized that my fascination in the hard meat between a guy's legs and this thing called gay was pretty much the same.  Even before that, I remember playing around with the neighborhood latin kid at age 6 or so and we'd roll around on the bathroom feeling each other up.  I told him to suck my dick, but he didn't go for it.  Yeah, I know.  Hard to believe but I knew I wanted my cock sucked even at 6.

So, coming out at an early age meant that most of my gay buds and my sexual partners were all older than me.  It was a bit of a shock now that I'm older that there are a lot of guys that are out and younger than me.  And even more of a trip as some of them started coming on to me.

So, back to the college kid.  He was a cub.  A little stocky with a cute face.  And I let him know exactly what he was getting into.  I was attached and didn't have any interest in leaving my partner.  And he was hot for me.  Of course, it probably helped that I sent him several pics of me in my best light... 

He didn't have a car and we both couldn't host, so we decided to meet at the adult book store in town.  Yeah, isn't the most romantic of places to get your cherry robbed. But I was horny and I really got off on him wanting me to fuck him.

So we chatted for a bit outside before we went in.  I told him where to go.  The biggest booth so we'd have room to fuck.

He went in first and I followed.  I entered in the booth and there he was, looking kinda shy.  I pulled him up and gave him a hungry kiss while pulling out the lube and condom I had on me.  I was on a mission and he knew it.  I was rock hard and full of frenetic energy, I don't think I even lubed him up properly.  I held his ass firmly, pushed his back down so he was bent over the solitary chair and pushed in.  Hard.  His ass resisted only for a sec before it loosened up, loosened because he wanted it.  And I fucked him mercilessly.  He couldn't even distract himself with the porn playing in the booth as I made him face away from the screen.  But he still turned his head.  I reached down and felt his rock hard cock.  I barely fucked him for a few moments with his head trying to turn back to look at me, him half rolling his eyes in heat and grimacing in pain.  It was barely a few minutes of me jabbing my rock hard meat inside him when I shot with such intensity I was shuddering for long moments afterwards.  And when I recovered, I made sure I was still inside him when I spun us around and sat down on the chair with him still fully impaled on me.  He gave his cock a few tugs and cried out.  Pain or ecstasy, I'm not sure, but he shot a huge load, spraying his shirt unintentionally. 

I smiled at him while he got off me.

"Oh, that hurt."

"I bad way?"

"No, not really.  It was hot."

I patted him on the shoulder.  "Good.  Catch ya later."

And with that, I was gone.

But I misread it.  He wanted more.  He really wanted a boyfriend.  And in the end, he really wanted a guy that would make his first time special.  What I really wanted, was just a hot fuck from a kid that was going to head back to school in a week.  He kept on messaging me on Scruff and I kept on ignoring him as he called me names. 

And that was one of the few times where I regretted what happened. 

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Virgin Ass (part 1)

I was nervous.

The last time I knowingly took a guy's virgin ass (though I'm sure taking a load down their throat wasn't foreign to them) was a couple of years ago with a kid that was home from his freshman year at college.  It didn't go so well.  I'll explain that one next time.

But this guy, I'm pretty sure is going to go differently.

He's a 50 year-old guy, for one.  Married, but just recently taken the plunge and indulged in his thirst for men and cum.  He's been going around the world gorging on cock, sucking down strange boys in the cities he's visits for work, but he hasn't taken the extra step to take it up the ass like he's always fantasized about.  Maybe it's a cliche, but it sorta fits.  He drives an expensive sports car convertible and chases guys younger than him.  But he's still fit as fuck.  His body drives me to shame.  A smaller guy about my height, but with well defined broad chest, cut abs rippling down a naturally smooth body and clean cut face with strong masculine features.  In a word, he's hot.

But I'm not nervous because he makes me feel inadequate. He's, in fact, warm and giving with affection and compliments that will ease any doubt.  An eager pup excited to play.  I'm nervous because of the responsibility I hold.  And the fact that his kid was sleeping upstairs also kinda weighed on my mind.

I had already aborted one attempt at anal.  He's already sucked me off a couple of times in the past and when he asked about anal, I let him know I was all for it.  But when I got there, it was all wrong.  He wasn't himself.  And when I went in for the kiss, I knew why.  He was drunk as fuck.  Slightly slurred speech and he reeked of alcohol.  I could even taste it on him.  Drunk off his rocker and it was 6am in the morning.  I wanted him to feel it and remember it all.  Most of all, I needed to know that he wanted it and, with a clear head, beg for it.  And I knew what would happen if we started.

But today, he was sober.  And eager.  He was waiting for me at the stoop and the long length of his driveway was making my heart pound in my ears in the anticipation with every step.

He leads me into the storage unit next to his garage.  Next to a couch is a sewing machine and clear plastic boxes piled high with his wife's arts and crafts supplies, long stationed in the corner that he doesn't realize how strange it feels for a guy to walk in and attempt to fuck him in a room that's obviously his wife's retreat.  But when our lips meet, he sucks at them greedily, trying to suck in my tongue and devour me.  My hands fly up under his shirt as his cock starts to grow and poke out at my under his gym shorts.  His soft skin and firm abs always amaze me as I trace his cut lines.

He breaks away.  I look at him.

"You sure about this?" I ask.

"I think so...  Yeah.  I want it," he replies hesitantly.  "Wait a sec."

He fumbles around and find a pack of condoms and lube.  It was obviously a sec pack for his work trips.  At that point, I wondered if this was really his first time.

I fumbled with my track pants to get them off and then used the lube to put a dallop on my hard, drooling meat.  A big glob stayed firm from the cold air making it thick enough to hold the shape of a gum drop before I rubbed in.  He was sitting on the couch, mesmerized, as I rolled on the condom and then got some more lube on my fingers.  I leaned in for a kiss while I worked a generous amount of lube on his hole.  At every pass of my fingers, I'd feel it twitch.  Relax in slow moments before a sudden tightening.  His arms showed goosebumps even though his hear was racing against my chest and his heat was strong enough to me start to sweat.  Relax, tighten, relaaaax, tighten.  I pushed a finger in and it was really tight.  Slowly.  Just a little at a time.  And when my finger was fully inserted, I still felt it relax and tighten around my finger.  Even in it's relaxed state, I felt the blood pulse in sphincter.  A steady quick pulse like the waves of electricity across a line.  And I knew, he was speaking the truth.  It was definitely his first time.  At this point, the making out slowed down to the point where he was just concentrating on his hole and when I pressed against the hard bulb of his prostate, he let out a yelp.

"I want you in me."

I pulled my finger out of his ass, probably a little too quickly, and placed the head of my covered cock against his hole.  Even through the latex, my cock could feel his heat.

Propped his other ankle over my shoulder and then placed the head of my cock firmly against his hole.  He gasped and grabbed onto my leg and started to push me back, but I kept up the pressure.  Not enough to push in, but enough so I wouldn't be pushed out.  My cock head was past and met a tight resistance.  And that pulsing!  It did wonders against my cock head.  Made my cock jump and flare out over and over.  It was one of those moments where I felt his hole finally relax a little and I inched in.  He white knucked my thigh but I didn't let up until I was balls deep.  And there I stopped.  Even with it covered, I felt the strong heat of his desire. His chest was heaving as he was mumbling under his breath.  I laid a hand firmly against his chest and felt his heart racing before I pulled out slowly.  I wanted him to feel the entire length of his cock.  I wanted it to feel like miles of man that was invading his channel.  Right when I just the tip of my cock was in, I slammed it back in.  On and on for awhile before I felt like he needed to feel something different, so I stayed deep in his hole and then made my cock throb to impale him with another inch.  Then I gyrated in a circle to see what the next best angle should be and his quick breaths told me when I was on the right track.  I fucked him mercilessly before I laid my hand on his cock.  My hands weren't cold, but they felt like they were against his white hot cock.

"No, don't.  You'll make me cum."

But I knew that he was already past the point of no return, just from the extra heat of my hands.

So I just grasped it firmly, letting the rhythm of my fuck be the stroke of his cock.  And in seconds, he let a stream of cum fly.  And another.  Then two smaller spurts before he was spent.  He grimaced when I pulled out.

"But you didn't cum yet."

"It's alright.  That was all I needed."  I got up and he did as well, albeit a bit wobbly.

"I want you to cum, though."

So I pulled off the rubber and put my arm around his shoulder and jerked it for a few seconds in a circle jerk style.  He lightly rubbed my stomach and I shot a load onto the cement floor.

As I was putting my clothes on, things got a bit awkward.

"You okay?"

"Oh yeah.  It was just a bit...  intense.  Lots of things running through my head."

I gave him a long hug before he led me out the door.  But later, he texted me begging for me to do it again.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Summer's Unfortunately Over

Fortunately or unfortunately, seasonal changes aren't that obvious in Los Angeles.  But for the past couple of months, it's been really apparent that summer is over.  It's not the weather.  Traffic becomes a mess (more so than it already is) when school is back in session.  And I've been trying hard to get another round with this buddy I met over the summer.  Turns out it's probably just going to be a summer fling.

I answered his ad on craigslist and I have to admit, I didn't think he was all that serious about meeting up.  It wasn't the typical ad.  He was pretty clear on what he wanted: a fuck bud.  A guy that he can shoot the shit with, but also get down and nasty.  But his responses were all over the place.  Earnest in one, then aloof and non-committal in another.  Always pretty short, but the small gathering of letters that peppered the screen always had a weight of swirling meaning behind it.  I'm a sucker for a mystery and it didn't hurt that he was a stocky, hairy bearish bottom.  So I kept at it.

Turned out he was married, like most of the guys around this area.  Had a wife and a kid.  Worked the swing shift, so had the house to himself in the mornings.  And at the time, my schedule was pretty flexible, so I proposed meeting in the late morning when his wife and kid were gone.  We set up the meeting once, and then he did the disappearing act.  Foolishly, I went through the emails and hung out at the coffeeshop on his corner just in case he emailed back with a concrete address.  After wasting an hour (well, it wasn't a complete waste, since the shop had wifi and I just started to get some work done), I took off for work.  He came up with some bullshit excuse about working late and oversleeping, so we rescheduled for later in the week and he disappeared again.  Another excuse.  This time he acknowledged that he was starting to feel like a flake.  So I decided I'd cut to the chase and laid it all out.  Basically said the ball is in his court, but I'm not doing to the email thing until he gives me a day and an address because it seemed like he was just another married guy jerking off to the idea of getting fucked and just not ready to go through with it.

A couple of weeks went by where I just stopped responding to his emails until I got a message that finally made me think he might be legit.  His wife and kid were heading out of town for the rest of summer and he was holding down the fort.  And he gave me his address.

At this point, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do.  Was I going to take the bait or just cut my losses.  And then I looked at his pics again and of course my dick led the way.  The pic he originally sent to me was him shirtless, grinning at the camera with his camera held at arm's length in such an uncoordinated way as to motion blur his entire face, but not enough to hide prominent features: his perfect teeth, hazel eyes, expressive eyebrows under slightly thinning hair and a solid frame...  broad shoulders and strong arms with curly, short hair that doodled across his chest.  Then the second pic.  A pic taken on his bed with the camera pointing down his chest to the foot of the bed, distorting his proportions in a tunnel effect that warped his legs into long stretched stumps but made his tool which stood upright all the more impressive. Images skewed enough to make it a compelling fantasy but pronounced enough to make it seem tangible.

So, the next morning I headed over.  And fuck if my weak knees and stumbling gait back to the car afterward didn't indicate it was a good decision.

There was a brief moment of dread when I reached the address and realized that it was a secured condo and I had no idea what his unit number was.  But after an email announcing my arrival, I got a quick response directing me to a side entrance where he let me in.

And there was no doubt that his story was completely legit.  He grasped my hand in a firm handshake, his meaty paw enveloping mine while his other tapped me on the shoulder.  He spoke in mumbling low tones that made me draw near to comprehend, but at the same time an invisible wall was between us.  It was a delicate display of intimate separation and distinction.  His feet shuffled heavily down the hall in a lazy way.  And he reeked of pot.  I'm don't chase straight guys.  It's way too much trouble.  But there's something hot about a guy that acts in a way that's completely foreign to what I'm used to.

When I walked into the condo, I was smacked in the face with the strong smell of wacky weed and the sounds of pussy porn muffled enough to not disturb the neighbors, but loud enough to add to the mood.

"I smoked out a bit.  Regressing into bachelorhood, I guess.  And shit, this place is a mess.  Sorry about that.  Don't have anyone to pick up after me.  Ha!"

I silenced his rambling by pulling him close and planting my lips against his.  Fuck he was a good kisser.  Passionate and present.  His arms seeking out my body and mine his and I felt him hardening in his basketball shorts as his cock started to pulse against me.  I pulled off all his clothes in a frenzy and he stood there naked before me.  Fuck, I love a hairy beefy guy that's my height.  He looked kinda shy and awkward with me fully clothed taking him in, but I was dressed for work and I didn't rush to take my clothes off.  My eyes were having too much fun taking him in.

He headed to the couch as I slowly undressed.  Pulled the condom and lube I brought and tossed them on the coffee table.  Tossed my shirt next to the neglected laundry basket full of bright rainbow colors meant to please an 8-year old child.  Tossed my pants next to the other basket mixed with women and mens undergarments.  My rock hard cock thudded against my belly when I pulled my trunks off, already wet with precum.  And then flopped onto the couch on top of him, knocking the wind out of him a bit a second before my lips met his so when he tried to recover, he inhaled me into him. 

We made out for a long time.  His soft full lips sucking against mine.  Our tongues probing each other.  And a playful nibble every now and then.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I pulled back.  His earnest hunger was intoxicating.

"Want me to fuck this down your throat?"

"Yes," he said.  Not "yeah" but "yes".  With a long trailing s that both confirmed his proper new england uprbrining and echoed his desire.


So without warning, I face fucked him. 

Gag, spit, quick breathes, long inhale as he struggled to keep up.  Me getting frustrated from the teeth of an untrained cocksucker.



"You like cock, don't you?"

"Yessss!" His eyes were closed for most of the onslaught, lost in the fantasy he was fulfilling.  But they fluttered open at that point and he lunged forward to get my cock down his throat again.

I couldn't take any more of his teeth though, so I pulled off and started to suck him. That was when I realized that I might have gone too far as he wasn't even hard.  He closed his eyes again and opened them only to occasionally glance at the porn.  But despite his half hard cock, he would still mutter the occasional greedy, "Yesssss!"

My saliva was starting to run down his balls now in enough amounts for me to finger it in.  He was tight.  I could feel his hole throbbing around my finger, pulsing with blood at the foreign invasion to his inner channel.  Then the ripple across the length of my finger as I pulled out while his hole clenched and unclenched.  I could barely get two fingers in, but I was just too horny to try to open him up any more.  I ripped open the condom and sheathed myself while sucking him down.  Lubed up.  Flung his legs over my shoulder.  Checked to see if he was ready.  And I slowly plunged in.

He let out a low groan.

I knew I was going in too fast, even though I was going as slow as I could.  I tried to pull out but immediately when he felt me start to withdraw, his arms flew up and tried to stop me.  They searched out my hips and he drew me back in until I finally sank in all the way.  It felt so nice.  Just me balls deep and his hole throbbing around my cock.  I dropped down so that my chest fell against his and I could feel his heart pounding in his chest.  Chest pounding, hole throbbing, I slowly fucked into him in short small strokes.  His eyes were still closed and his cock still flaccid when I picked up the pace and really started pounding him.   Despite all this, there was something in me that really wanted him.  Despite the walls he put up, the long awaited meet really got me going and after just a few minutes, I felt cum start to boil up in my balls.  I stopped.  That wasn't enough, so I pulled off and pulled the condom off and collapsed on top of him to make out.  I was playing with his chest hair, running my fingers through them and across his chest when he pulled back.

"I want you in me again"

"Got a condom?"

He didn't, but instead got an all fours on the couch.  I took the hint.  I slapped his ass with my cock a couple of time and then lined it up.  No hesitation this time.  No resistance.  Still tight as fuck, but he wanted it.

I plunged in.

I fucked him like that for a long time.  Hard.  Insistent.  My groin slapping hard against his ass with every thrust, so hard his ass bounced and rippled up to his back.  I can see the shockwaves ripple up his body.

When I couldn't hold back anymore, I reached under the wrap my arm across his chest and used that to push him firmly down on my cock as I blasted deep inside him.  I buckled on top of him, trying to get deeper and deeper inside to plant my load. 

I pulled out to notice that I just didn't shoot deep enough.  My load started to leak out of his ass as he turned around and lied back down.  My legs were wobbly from the intensity of the orgasm.  At the same time, I didn't want it to end.  I took his cock in my mouth again and hungrily ate him up to the point where my cock was throbbing again.  He was still only half hard at best, but I didn't let up.  I felt the cum on his balls and played with them lightly before my fingers found his hole.  I dug out my cum with my fingers and then pushed it back in.  And then I felt his prostate and started to push against it.  Just a few seconds and his prostate started to tighten and he unloaded a huge load in my mouth.  His cock hardened just for a second or two to unleash its load, making me gag a little, but I swallowed it all down.

I was so weak after that.  Barely had enough energy to stand up straight in the shower afterwards to get the smell of sex off me before I went to work.  And it wasn't the last time that happened.  We played four times after that.  Once every two or three weeks in the summer when I could take a morning off work to play.  He didn't need the porn anymore.  Nor did he keep his eyes closed.  It became more and more intense after each encounter.

Until his wife and kid came home for the new school year and I no longer had my mornings free.

But I think he found what he was looking for.  We talked a bit and shared experiences.  Got to know each other.  One day, we'll be able to pick up again where we left off.  I'm too persistent to let it go.  But until then then, we'll have warm memories to keep us warm in the fall and winter.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Flipping a Top

Honestly, I don't think I've ever met a total top.  And that includes me too. It's gotten to the point where I ask, but I don't really listen to the answer.

He was on GROWLr, an app on the iPhone and Android devices that let's you check out the guys that are also browing nearby.  Sorta like the bear version of Grindr.  5'9" 175# and close cropped hair.  His face picture was a bit blury, but you could still tell he was a good-looking guy.  Figured him for a chaser since he didn't seem all that beefy or hairy.  A nice, clean-cut guy.

We idly swapped messages back and forth on a Saturday while I was trying to catch up on some mindless reality TV shows that I had on the DVR.  That is, until he unlocked his private pictures.  He had my attention then.  He had a fine dusting of hair across his chest and down his stomach.  Small nipples that protruded as if they were meant to be sucked...  nursed on for hours.  His cock filled the frame of the picture, so I couldn't tell scale, but it was angry red and veiny, tilting slightly to the left but massive enough to fill the screen.  It also turned out that he was in town for work, staying at a hotel that was just a couple of miles from me.  So, of course, I invited myself over.  Even though he said he was a top.

"We can just start with oral and see where things go."

He gave me the room number and I headed over.

After working through a traffic jam from some accident that closed the road the hotel was on, I got there and was met by a handsome guy that made me pause for a bit.  No matter how much you try, there's a moment where the brain reconciles the pictures that you've seen and the image you've put in your head with the actual person in front of you.  Yeah, he didn't lie about his height, but for some reason I expected him to be taller.  Instead, he was a guy that was my height that I wanted to scoop into my arms and toss into bed.  And he had amazing grey eyes that didn't break from direct contact.  Instead, he looked right at you when he talks.

After saying our hellos, I pulled him into a big hug and kissed him deep while my foot kicked the door closed.  I could taste a tint of spearmint gum as our tongues dueled in each others mouths and then the faint aftertaste of smoke.  He was a considerate smoker.  Loved that.  Don't like smoking at all and smokers generally turn me off, but a guy that takes a couple extra steps ahead to try to make a guy comfortable is kinda hot.

I lustfully grabbed at his shirt trying to pull it off before our arms became an entangled mess.  It was a frenzy of activity as we pulled and pushed, trying to get naked and take in each other with all of our senses.  Hands flying everywhere.  Under clothes, over clothes.  Fingers tracing dancing over each other trying to memorize each feature.  My face was everywhere, trying inhale his scent, taste his flesh, feel his soft fur against my cheek.  My teeth and tongue played with his nips and I felt his cock surge and pulse through his shorts against my leg.  It was becoming too hard to balance so I grabbed him my the shoulders to pull back.

"Let's get in bed."

"That's what I was thinking."

He unzipped and pulled off his shorts to have an immense slab of meat flop out.  Sure the thing looked pretty thick in the pic, but in real life, it was insane.  I could barely wrap my fingers around it without choking the monster in a death grip.  He didn't wait for me to snap out of my reverie.  He pulled free and hopped into bed.  I quickly followed suit.  Head first in a dive to get that meat down my throat.  I heard my jaw crack as I opened up wide enough to get that sucker in.  It was a struggle to keep teeth out of the way.  And he was easily 8" long.  Too long for me to get to his balls and too thick to deep throat.  Instead, I suffocated on his meat as it worked its way to the back of my throat.  Jaws overextended and helpless.  My nose didn't know what to do.  All breathing passages were at a loss and I struggled.

It was a top's cock.

He flipped me on my back to show me how it's done.  Hard as a rock, pointing skyward, he took my cock in his mouth in one swoop to the base.  But I didn't let him off easy.  I grabbed his head and held it there, made my cock throb a bit to fill his throat and pushed it even deeper.  Yeah, he can deep throat.  But with that skill, he's gonna pay the price and get skull fucked.  Several short, deep thrusts and then I let go of his head, which flung back and gasped in a huge breath...  right before he swooped down for another beating.

Any bystander might have thought the wrestling match was too much work, more work than fun, more stressful than erotic.  But instead, it was just two passionate guys that know what they want, what they like, and aren't afraid to get it.  Back and forth, we made each other squirm.  At one point, I was on top nibbling at his nipples trying to kick his legs apart to tease his hole with my cock.  He wouldn't have it.  His legs were shut tighter than a window painted closed.  But after some experiments, I noticed he was a sucker for making out.  So I kissed him deep and he responded.  His body relaxed as if willing me to go deeper inside him.  Before he knew it, I had his knees on either side of me while he was on his back.  I worked one hand on the back of his head pulling him deeper into the kiss while the other underneath him as I hugged him close.  Slowly his legs rose and wrapped around my back.  I knew I had him.  After a bit, I pulled back, spat on my hand and lubed up my cock with it.  I felt his hot hole as it opened and then tightened as I played.  And then back down to his lips and he sucked me into him.  My hard, wet cock was teasing his hole until I got my head aligned...  and then I pushed in.  Slowy.  Inch by inch.  Feeling when he relaxed to move in deeper.  Drawing him deeper into the kiss when he tightened up.  Until I was balls deep inside him.

We both groaned.


He was still rock hard and his twitching ass was doing wonderful things to my cock.  The deep warmth enveloped me and drove me insane.  I pulled out until just the tip was inside and slammed it home.  I grabbed his cock.  I could tell he loved it.  Over and over I long dicked him.  Slow outstroke, slamming it in on the downstroke.  Over and over til sweat was building up between our bodies.  Mine from the sheer exertion and him from the intensity of the fuck.  I was dripping heavily onto him.  One drop landed on his face and he quickly lapped it up.  It was at that moment I felt something change.  His breathing rhythms broke into a stacatto and his ass started to milk my cock with every movement.  His chest heaved and my hand was still on his cock, controlling the sensations he was feeling.  I was jerking him slowly.  I didn't change the pace.  Kept it steady when his eyes rolled and a deep moan that started in his core escaped from his mouth.  And he shot.  With a loud cry, he shot.  The first volley was so hard, the force in which it hit the wall over the bed's headboard was audible.  The second left a streak of cum from his neck to his navel.  The final squirts dribbled over my fingers.  The sight, the smell, the twitches of his ass.  It was more than I can handle and I squirted my own load deep inside him.  It wasn't timed perfectly.  In fact, I know it took me several strokes before I came.  A part of me felt bad because I wasn't sure if he was in pain after having just had cum (I know sometimes I need a guy off me immediately after I cum), but I was at the point of no return and you couldn't reason with me.  Even when I was done squirting, I pounded it in deep and hard to make sure it goes deep inside him.  And then I collapsed on top of him.

As we were coming down and the fog lifted, I pulled out and he started a chuckle.

"I swore it was going to go the other way," he laughed.

I did too.

Who am I kidding?  It happened exactly how I wanted it to.

Friday, October 26, 2012


There's something really hot about a guy that wants dicks so bad...  no craves it to his core...  that he doesn't even care about the guy it's attached to and is willing to wait silently, patiently with his ass in the air for someone to smother the burning need before it bubbles up again the next day.  Eyes covered.  Lights low.  Concentrating on just the tickle in his ass and the cock that he hopes will invade his channel and provide some relief...  hopefully a guy that knows what he's doing and hammers it home to leave a legacy of a dull ache that ironically soothes the need for as long as possible.

I was in bed with the trusty iPad in the early morning hours, flipping through the craigslist ads as casually as anyone would reading the morning paper, scanning the titles for something of interest.  It was done mechanically, just a morning ritual to ease into the day and get the day started, when I came across his ad: Dark Room, Bent Over.  The title didn't betray anything that spectacular.  Just another bottom looking for a pump and dump scene.  But when I popped it open to read more, I felt my cock stir.  He was specific.  Hours available, closest major cross-streets, and a description of his need for an anonymous scene with words and phrases that casually fall of the tongue in easy little waves but opened a view to an ocean of desire.  I read between the lines.  He was partnered or married, had the day off, and needed to get off.  Bad. 

You'd think that two guys that are attached and have some mutual attraction and compatible sexual likes would make for a perfect fuck buddy relationship, but in my experience that's not usually the case.  Instead, the logistics become a cock block for any play.  But this guy was different.  He was five minutes from work and directly on my route home.  So we arranged to meet that afternoon on my way home from work.

I emailed him on my way and he let me know the number to get buzzed into his complex.  But I ended up not needing it.  A helpful neighbor let me in and I wound my way though the maze of corridors to his unit, tried the handle and smiled to see that it was unlocked.  I walked into a room that was comfortably lived in for a number of years, furnished with strong masculine clean lines next to ornate feminine curves, two heads swirling together and struggling to make the mismatch work.  And the fallout was a number of trinkets and gadgets that have accumulated on their surfaces.  Into the bedroom and I found him there as advertised.  Bent over, feet on the floor, head buried on top of the comforter of a high bed.  Got to love that.  A man totally devoted to the scene that he gets in position without relying on the security door to alert him.  It's that need and that patience that makes my cock stir in my pants.

"I guess you found a way in."

In answer, I put my hand on his ass and he let out a long sigh.

Shuck off the shoes and drop the pants with one hand while my other seeks out his hole.  It's not as dark as I think, but it takes awhile for my eyes to adjust.  A few long minutes in fact, so I have to feel his full ass before working it down his crack and onto his hole.  It was already puckered out in anticipation, making my cock leap.

He's a bigger bear of a man of my height.  As my eyes come too, I start to see the wide shoulders set atop a solid build.  Heavy, but not soft.  My hands explore his smooth back while I rest my growing cock on his crack.  And then I lean in, scratching his back with my days growth, scraping my chin down from the top of his neck as I grind into him.  He shudders under me.  I can't tell if it's from the prickly face against the smooth back or the hard cock insistent upon his hole.

I get up suddenly and slap his ass.  I need to get in and I need to do it now.  I spied some lube and condoms next to him and quickly slapped both on.  A little too quickly as I tear into him and he visibly writhes away.  A little more lube and I impale him swiftly to my nuts.  I then collapse back ontop of his back and slide my arm underneath him.  To my surprise, his chest is as hairy as his back is smooth.  A dense layer of short curled hair coarsely glide against my forearms.  My other arm slides under.  His stomach is just as hairy.  An even coat of fur across his hole front, except for two small spots where small, hard nubs of his nipples point out.  My arms crisscross and nab both nipples between my fingers.  And I use that firm grip on his chest to pull him into the fuck, hard and rough, making him feel me acutely from the front and the back.  I love a guy that squirms under me.

"That's one." He suddenly announces.  I wasn't sure what he meant, but I kept on fucking.

I vary the strokes.  Short so that I can rapid fire thrust before his body can respond and slow short strokes so that he can feel every part of my seven inches.  I push off of him and bury his chest further into the bed as I reach down and feel his balls... and then feel my cock and it glides in and out of him.

"That's two." He says.  He wasn't even touching his cock, but he reaches down to snatch up a strand of cum before it hits the floor and then swipes it on a hand towel he had lying by his head.

Fuck that's hot.  I was about to pull out.

"No, keep going."

It dawned on me what he meant.  That was his second load.  While I was putting it all together in my head, I managed to fuck another one out of him.  The scene got me so hot that I forcibly repositioned him, kicked his heels apart, grabbed him by the waste and really gave everything I got.  He responded by working his cock over hard.  And with a muffled cry as he shouted into the comforter, he shot a massive load that I could feel even through the condom as his ass twitched sending me over the edge and making me deposit a huge load.

I ripped my cock off him and threw the used condom on his back.

While I was recovering and dressing, he explained.

"I have these little mini orgasms when getting fucked, but if I jerk and cum completely...  going to past the point of no return, I can't take the fuck anymore."  He said all this to bed.  He was still in position.  Back facing me.

And that's what I'm talking about.  A guy that has a need so deep that he can cum without touching himself.  Failed cumshots that happen over and over again until he touches himself.  And so addicted to cock that he still doesn't see me after I spend minutes washing up and tying up my shoes...  Just reveling in the afterglow.

"Fuck man, that was awesome," he says as he hears my footsteps going away.  I still haven't said a word aloud to him.

Sunday, October 21, 2012


Within a day, I've rode the pendulum across the spectrum of personalities and sexual chemistry... and in just two encounters!

I was visiting family out of town and I knew if I turned on Grindr, I'd get at least a few more hits than the general indifference I get at home being fresh meat.  And I was right.  The most promising was a guy with an amazing smile and an enthusiams that was overwhelmingly flattering.  He was a cub with an endearing honesty and vulnerability that made me want to scoop him into my arms to comfort him.

I should have known though.  He was a romantic looking for love in all the wrong places.  And although he has intellectualized his need for physical gratification, his nesting tendencies vehemently protest.  Although I was perfectly candid, reflective of the personal information that he's divulged, he ultimately wanted a hook up that would convert into relationship two minutes after.  It was a little strange.  That duality was present in so many ways.  The completely uninhibited emotional abandon I found endearing was met with an equal but disonnant sexual resistance.

I was a bit casual about it all and told him that I was going to a nearby electronics store to find a charger for a new phone.  Since he lived half a mile away, he decided to meet me there.  I was a little late though, and by the time I got there, he got tired of aimlessly walking around and was waiting for me at the front entrance.

His online pic only partly did him justice.  He was a tall kat at about 6'2" and a couple hundred pounds.  He wore it well, though.  A broad face that beamed when he saw me and a perfect smile that would make any orthodontist cry.  It was that enthusiasm that made me, in turn, feel giddy and rush to him with a huge bear hug.  But he resisted.  Despite his enthusiasm seeing me, he was an uncomfortable bag of potatoes in my arms, about to spring a hole and spill to the floor.  That should have been a big clue.

I hopped in his car and we rode the rest of the way to his house holding hands while he was giddy with excitement.  His enthusiasm was contagious and the door was hardly closed before I attacked him.  I grabbed him close and went in for a kiss and he met me with pursed lips.  He eventually relented to some tongue action, but I figured he just wasn't into kissing.  So instead, I shucked off his underwear and gobbled up his soft cock in my mouth.  He was only half hard and was continually apologizing, noting how he was so attracted to me that he didn't understand why he was soft.  It was beginning to get to me so I threw him onto the bed with his head halfway down while I worked myself to the head of the bed to encourage him to suck me.  He took the hint rather easily, but first wiped the big glob of precum from my tip.  This was after he confessed to loving bareback sex.  I was rock hard and enjoyed watching him go to town on my cock.  He was great, working the shaft and tickling my balls before he got on his hands and knees to really work on it.  The view of his ass in the air as his head bobbed up and down was too much.  I pulled him off and he knew what was next, so pulled a condom and some lube out.  And that's where it went to hell.

He let me put on the condom, but told me to make sure I put it on the right way. Then, when it was one, I could touch my dick for risk of contaminating the condom with my infested hands.  Then we had to replace the condom because it was compromised for some reason.  By this time, I had gotten soft and let him know that it wasn't going to work out.  Then he chastised himself for ruining his chances with me with the condom and I, in turn, chastised him for thinking of compromising his comfortable risk levels just to get laid.  It just wasn't gonna work out.

Now fast forward a few hours and I was at a guy's house where he was whoring out his bottom.  And fuck, was it a hot bottom.  A latin kid in his early 20s, freshly out of the marines with tattoos proclaiming his allegiance to the armed forces.  Totally smooth and lean, aside from his bubble ass and the soft dusting of fuzz on his cheeks that got a little denser toward the hole.  When I first walked in, two guys were behind him while he was on all fours at the edge of the bed.  A cute guy in his late 20s was smiling rather sheepishly.

"Sorry man.  I just came.  Couldn't hold back when you left to let him in.  I just haven't cum in so long!  We both came."

And he looked down.  My eyes followed suit, traveling in the same direction, down his pale skin sitting in sharp contrast to the light fuzz of his pecs, down the treasure trail, to the fat cock that was dripping cum still, onto the floor.  And then the bottom's hole all wet.

"It's cool," my host said.  Then he looked at me.  "You wanna fuck him."

Fuck yeah.  But I've never fucked a cum-sloppy hole before.  Well, not with someone else's load at least.  But I love using my cum as lube to jerk off another load.  It's just gonna be different with some else's cum for my first load...  and a fuck inside a hot hole.

While the other tops got dressed and left, I quickly disrobed and impaled him with my cock.  He was a bit loose as I had expected having just been bred, but fuck was it wet.  Really slick and wet and once I was balls deep, I felt an extra heat.  It was almost as if it wasn't just the kid's internal temperature, but the added heat of the molten lava from the otter's load.  And I lost it.  I hammered it into him hard, using his shoulders to pull me back onto my cock.  I fucked so hard he lost his balance and fell off his knees onto the bed.  And then I continued drilling before he started to pull off me.

"Need a break?"

"Yeah, I'm hyperventilating."

"Just breathe boy," my host said.  "Deep breaths."  And then tossed him a bottle of poppers.  Didn't think that was a good idea for a guy that was hyperventilating, but I figured the bottom would figure it out.

My cock at this point was still hard as a rock and bouncing up and down with every pulse of my heart.  It was still dripping wet, with the cumload from the other guy dripping down, leaking onto my balls before it pooled a little and tickled me before dripping to the hard wood floors.

For the first time, the bottom looked at me.

"Fuck you have a huge cock.  And you went in like gangbusters."

Then he averted his eyes.  I'm not sure what he's talking about.  At 6.5"/7" and not very thick, I'm hardly what anyone would consider large.  But I knew what it meant.  He wasn't into it.  As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he was sketching.  He was just all over the place.  After a couple of more attempts to restart the fuck, I asked for a bathroom and cleaned up.

"You're leaving?  I want your cum."  I was just a cum factory to him.  And I didn't mind that.  Except for the fact that he just wasn't present in the fuck at all.  He just wasn't there.  And I couldn't just use him as a hole, cause a hole doesn't usually complain and try to pull away nor gets distracted by everything that's going on.  I guess I could have jerked my load for him, but I just wasn't feeling it.  The attraction was obviously not mutual.

So I went home.  On the one hand, having a guy where the attraction was mutual, but the sexual buzz was lost and then another guy where there attraction was obviously not mutual, went a lot further, but ultimately failed as well.  And the funny thing is that the cute cub was a guy I had at great lengths talked about barebacking and the other guy that was being whored out was all about safe sex.  It was a wild ride, that day...  And not exactly in the best way.  But in a way, I'm still honored to have met both guys and had a small part in their lives.  I learn a little more about myself with everyone I meet and what it means to have incredible connections...  and incredible sex. 

I generally like to write about my encounters with a central theme or idea I'm trying to get across that makes it special.  To be honest, I don't know what I'm trying to say here.  Maybe it's because barebacking is such a charged topic.  I've always played wrapped with the Pussy, but it's always have been hot.  At the same time, unloading into an ass skin to skin is also hot as hell.  But what makes it or break it is the compatibility between two people...  Sometimes it meshes and people connect and other times it just collides.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The "Pussy"

He comforts himself by shrouding himself in darkness.  And he hides there, hoping nobody sees how vulnerable he is.  A massive frame at least over 6'3" tall, broad shoulders, all muscle, little body fat but still really weak.  Weak for cock.  'Cause he knows deep in that tough exterior is a guy that just loves being a fuck hole.  A cunt.  A pussy.

I only go there in the early morning hours.  We're both morning people and wake up early for work and that routine has spilled over even on the weekends.  When I'm horny, I roll out of bed and toss an email his way and tell him what time I'll be over.  Sometimes, he beats me to the punch and emails me first.  And it's always the same scene.  He leaves his door unlocked to his apartment and waits for me in his room.  The lights may be on in the living room, but he's hidden in the shadows of his room, behind the closed door, on his back with his knees bent making little pyramids flanking his rock hard cock held tight in a vise-like grip.  I undress in living room.  Sometimes I make some noise and slowly make my way into his room, making him uneasy with anticipation.  Other times I just shuck everything off as quickly as possible to try to catch him by surprise.  This time, it's the latter.  I'm already late for work. 

I burst in and close the door behind me, carrying some lube and a condom I brought over.

"How's my pussy?"

He moans and visibly trembles at the word.  The word hold power with him.  He tells me how hot his hole has been for cock and how horny he is.  He winces a bit every time he says the word, but he still uses it.  Over and over again.

And his hole really is hot.  Hot to the touch.  My cool hands that have been unprotected from the morning crisp sends a shock through his body when it lands on his hole.  The initial shock subsides and my hands warm, but every time my finger pass over his pussy, his body trembles.  His body convulses.  Hard enough to knock me off balance a couple of times.  It's those involuntary spasms that gets my cock hard and dripping wet.  I've never met a guy that has an ass that craves dick so bad.  He can probably cum not touching himself just from having my cock glide over his hole.  It's a yearning that's so strong, he's even a little ashamed of it as he lies there in near total darkness.  And I can always see a bit of fear in his eyes when we get carried away and we make a bit too much noise.  Even my steady breath seems to reverberate through the morning stillness, though.  But it's that fear that makes him remind me nine times out of ten over email to be quiet when I get there.

We haven't gotten to that point yet.  Although I didn't have much time, I spent a bit just playing with his hole.  I want his body to be reminded of what it wants, what it craves, because I'm not going to be gentle when I fuck.  And he trembles with need.  I finally relent and lube up my cock and add a bit of lube on the inside of the condom.  That bit of extra moisture will grease my dials enough to cum pretty quick.  I roll it on.  A bit more lube on my hand as I use the other to raise his legs to rest on my shoulders.  One slow stroke of my cock with the lube and then I stop.  I look into his eyes, full of anticipation.  And when I feel like he wants it enough to take it without going in slow, I plunge in with steady pressure until I'm balls deep.  It's not until I hit bottom where his body responds and involuntarily squeezes down hard on my cock to try to expel the invader.  I even feel mini-spasms as his body adjusts and any leftover discomfort is reconciled by the overwhelming desire to be taken.

"Oh, yes.  Pussy feels good.  Pussy needs cock."

He's tight.  There's no doubt that I'm one of the few that gets the pleasure to do this to him.  But I don't try to go easy on him.  It's not what he wants.  He wants to be used.

I honor his request and try to be as quiet as possible so that his neighbors don't hear.  I grind in as deep as I can, make my cock pulse, and then fuck mini strokes deep inside him. Nothing but an inch or two of a stroke, nothing far enough to make my balls and body audibly slap against his thighs, but hard enough to make him feel it in his core.  Four or five of those and then I pull out to the tip, pause enough to hear him stop breathing for a sec, and then plunge all the back back in feeling his ass squeeze and spasm across the length of my seven inches.  The cycle happens a dozen times over the course of a few minutes when I notice that his breathing quickens and he's not mumbling about his pussy anymore.  He doesn't stroke.  He just holds it in a tight grip.  But I know what it means.  He's going to shoot.  So, I throw caution to the wind and hammer it home to build up my load and finally unleash my load hard into him.  By the time I come down, he's already trying to bring his breathing back to a normal pace and I reach down and feel the puddle on his stomach.

I pull out, admire the hefty load in the condom before I flush it away and wash up.  He stays in bed and recovers.  He doesn't even move from the bed when I get dressed in the living room.  He doesn't make a move until I'm gone.

On my drive to work, I chuckle a bit.  I actually think calling a guy's ass a pussy is funny.  But with him, the word means something.  I'm pretty sure he's closeted.  He's paranoid of the noise and uses the dark to conceal his desires.  But over the years, he's let his gaurd down.  I know who he is and what he does for a living.  I even know his eating habits and workout routine, though we've never exchanged more than ten words.  And they're the same ten words.  All of which refer to anatomy, sex, and bodily fluids.  I feel like I'm taking advantage of him and playing a peverse game by wielding the word to berate him and allow him to be objectified.  I wonder if he's ever going to cross the line and allow himself to be comfortable with his sexual desires to the point where it's a more mutual exchange, making out and exploring a guy's body and the like.  But then something reminds me of his hot, eletric hole and my dick twitches and then I say fuck it.  I'm gonna enjoy the ride where ever it leads.