Saturday, March 12, 2016

Giving

The excited tones of conversation started to settle, ebbed away like the traffic below in the late night.  We're both naked.  And I pause for a second.  Just enough to catch a glimpse of something beautiful that makes my head spin.

Technically, this is my second time trying out an escort.  After reading LP's blog depicting his experience from one side and then Not Alone'sexperience on the client end, I was kinda curious.  I just suddenly realized the door was open to have that experience.  It was always open, actually.  I just didn't understand what my reason would be to walk through.  What I wanted was to challenge myself and experience something I normally wouldn't have.

So he's lying on his back.  I'm hovering over him.  Physically, I'm as turned on as I was when I first encountered his blog full of ideas and pictures.  He's even more handsome in person.  He's transformed his look a few times as you scroll through his past entries and he's settled now on a pronounced mo' against neatly trimmed scruff.  And if pictures are worth a thousand words, then it needs a new dictionary as his reality defies the articulation of imagery.  I'm surprised he's seventy pounds heavier than me, but as my hands roam across his body it understands how he's assembled that weight into compact, dense fibers of strong masculinity.  He's fuckin' lean as shit.  Just two hundred pounds of raw power.

And perhaps that why the look he gave me confounds me.  Face relaxed.  Brows furrowed in upturned questions.  It's a look that I can only read as extremely urgent and aggressive empathetic.  It's a stunning duality.  I can sense him trying to read me and give me everything I want.  It's almost as if he's trying to grant me permission to let go.  There's just such a strength in his will to give that's achingly beautiful.  Even a week after we first met, I vividly reflect on how he smells, how his lats felt under my fingers as they travelled down to his trim waist, and above all that... a look of pure compassion.

10 comments:

Weston Liggett said...

So it happened! Awesome!!! Great writing - nice reflection on a moment...

Bruce Chang said...

Yup!! I'm glad I took that leap and tried it out, though I'm not sure if I want to do it again with anyone else. Kinda want to keep that memory pure and there's a dynamic that's kinda weird when money is involved... The topic of my next post. As an aside: you must be traveling... Or I'm no longer banned in your part of the world...

Not Alone said...

Hot!!!! My play money is about gone, so I don't know if I can do it much anymore... I'm excited to hear more... He looks hot.

Bruce Chang said...

He is! And one of those guys that makes all the synapses in my brain fire in such different delightful combinations

Weston Liggett said...

I know what you mean about the dynamic - enough said. As far as I know you're still banned - rare access to a VPN on my side!

Bruce Chang said...

Ha! And yo used it to hit the blogs! Nice!

close encounters said...

this isn't meant to be judgemental, i'm just interested ... do you discuss / agree with your partner what extra curricular activities you get up to ??

Bruce Chang said...

We don't. And here I think I should explain the title of the blog a little. It was really a random title I came up with the time because at that time I was bumping into a lot of other tops that were partnered and cheating... so I was just yet another cheating top. As I've progressed, I got to know people that stumbled onto my site that focused on a few parts. Either the top aspect or the cheating aspect. And with the cheating aspect, I didn't realize that there are people that are really turned on by it... either by the clandestine nature of it all or some are into the cuckold aspect of it others are into compersion. But in terms of me and my partner, we act as if we don't play on the side, but I've found some good evidence that he's played with others. The problem is, as much as I'd like to talk about it and am turned on about thinking of him playing with another guy, he has a jealousy thing going on and would not like the same from me. As a result, our relationship is not officially open.

close encounters said...

thanks for sharing that.

i wonder if he has ever "found some good evidence" that *you* play with others ?!

maybe he would enjoy watching you with another guy ... even more than his jealousy ...

Bruce Chang said...

He probably has and no, he's made it quite clear that he would never want me see me playing with another guy. Wish it were different but he'd rather not know about it. Unfortunately, what works for some couples doesn't work with others. :-)