I was watching "Big Bang Theory" and there was a witty exchange that noted how actors have an externally focused perception of self, where they evaluate themselved based on how others see them. Of course, I immediately thought of how this applies to sexual encounters and the way some people feed their narcissism by seeing how many guys they can bag, how many loads they can get in one night, etc. For me, though, the ultimate ego boost as a top is when a bottom cums handsfree while I'm fucking them... even though in the back of my head, I know it's more their talent than mine.
I met him off Grindr and wasn't too hopeful at first. Usually when a picture of a nice sunset hits me up on Grindr, it's the start of a long session of slutty messages and photos back and forth that never pans out and ends up with me having blue balls a couple of hours later. But this time, I was really hopeful it would work out and all the signs pointed to a successful real-time meet. Pics were exchanged within a couple of messages, face pics shortly after that and then the coordination of when and where to meet. And damn, was I anxious to meet. He had beautiful grey eyes set within an intensely expressive face topped on a solid frame with wide shoulders. It was one of those self-pics in front of a mirror that usually is an awkward self-conscious pose. But for him, his neatly combed hair and loose white undershirt betrayed his attempt at inexpressive face and I saw the boyish, casually confident but eager to please guy seething in sexuality. And I wanted to grab his head and plant him down on my cock to make him gag.
And so I did. Our first meet was a quickie in the car. He was coming out of work and I couldn't host, so we ended up playing in the car parked at a discreet location of a parking structure. Haven't done that in a long time. Usually I can't get comfortable enough, with the fear of getting caught and the cramped confines of an automobile. But I surprised myself by letting a heavy load within a few minutes. He turned me on that much! Even with the rumbles of car driving around below us and the echos of footsteps bouncing off all the walls making it seem like they were walking right up to the car while I was fucking his throat.
It's that chemistry that made us meet up the next day. He was teasing me all day with pics of him in his jock, which he wore just in case we were able to meet up. When he finally arrived at my doorstep, I was surprised to see him in a full suit and tie. He looked up as I opened the door and flashed me a grin behind those boyish eyes that soon enveloped his face and exposed his dimples. And that was it. I was pawing at him in a flash and we somehow ended up on the bed with his clothes tossed around somewhere in the house along the way. It was pretty much a big blur as I gave into my lust and I didn't really snap out of it until his legs were on my shoulders and my cock was pressing against his ass with him on his back. It was just a microsecond, but it was enough for me to sense that I went a little too fast and hurt him. I wasn't even trying to fuck him, really. I just wanted to feel my cock rub up against his ass.
He felt me stop for a second. "Don't stop. It's just been awhile."
"We don't have to..."
"No, put it back. Tease my hole with the head."
I knew what that meant. He wanted it... and wanted it raw.
I used a little lube and aimed it at his hole before going in for a deep kiss. I felt him tighten up around my cock and held still until I could feel him relax from the passionate kiss. I applied more pressure and feel him take me in all the way, sinking into his warm hole until I was fully inside. As I moved off his lips, lightly pulling away a bit, I ground into him a few times. With a really steep angle and my cock almost buried balls deep, he let out a gasp.
I did it again. "God, right there," he whispered.
I hit the spot. I knew exactly where it was and hit it repeatedly. Short quick thrusts, long ones to have him feel the length of my cock before I hit his button. Each time, "Fuck!"
"You're gonna make me cum if you keep doing that."
I didn't answer, but instead leaned in for another deep kiss while I kept it up. After ten or so more thrusts, his massive chest heaves. He bucks under me so hard that he practically fucks himself on my cock uncontrollably. He wrapped his hands around my back, "Fuck, I can't believe that happened!"
"You've never had that happen before?"
"No, I have, but it's been a long time since it happened last."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"I've only topped a guy that can cum without touching himself a couple of times. And I'm pretty sure the talent is all his and not really mine."
"No, that was good. You definitely knew what you were doing. I still can't believe that happened."
I didn't cum yet and he felt bad, but I let him off the hook. Besides, the ego trip was good enough. Yeah. I know. I'm really not that good, but still... I think this is the case where it's not so bad to aim to have others feed my narcissism. Five times in my life so far ain't bad. But I'm gonna go for needing two hands and maybe my feet to count. Externally focus my sense of self? Fine. Guilty. Eh, it's not that bad to wire yourself that way, right?