Saturday, March 16, 2013


"That was just what I needed."

That's what he said.  The problem is.  I have no idea what I did to earn that statement!

So, I have a habit of getting up early.  Way early.  And then browsing the ads and going on the chat sites to see what's up.  Usually, the only people that are on are the partiers and the bots.  But this one guy on growlr had a cute face and was supposedly close.  Unfortunately, he was in the opposite direction of work, but I decided to go for it anyway.

Handsome fella.  A bit of a bear and beefy all over.  He carried his weight well and was looking really dapper in his Lacoste sweater vest.  But his face was totally blank.  That's the thing with Growlr.  Most bears are into other bears.  So I wasn't sure if he was into me or if I just happened to be the only guy that seemed normal and awake at that early hour.  Couldn't tell by his kiss either if he was a bad kisser or was just going through the motions.  I just wasn't getting anything out of him.  So I said fuck it.  I'm not going to be the nice top.  I'm just going to use him to get off.  Tore off his clothes, pushed him onto his back, gnawed at his nipples, spat on my hand, quick swipe across my dick and buried it balls deep.  A few wimpers, a few moans of encouragement.  but even then, I couldn't tell if he was into it.  He was only half hard at best.  So I kept up the frantic pace.  Decided him on his back wasn't doing it for me so had him lie flat on his stomach and attacked his ass until I buried my load deep after varying the pace, and the angle, and the length of the stroke until I felt like it was right for me.

It was only then that I got some sort of affirmative response.  He let out a big sigh when I bred him.  And that's when he said it.

"It was just what I needed."

And I still don't know what he meant by that.  Was it the hard fuck, the cum in his ass, the barebacking, everything, being used, or just the morning sex to start the day?  I was even more confused when I saw his toiletry bag, which had a pic of his boyfriend on it.  It was kinda sweet.  You know your man travels, so you make a toiletry bag with your pic on it so he doesn't get lonely...  Of course, it was the pic of a bigger white guy.  Not me at all.  So did he mean he needed a fuck from an Asian dude, someone totally different?

I guess what bothered me is that I usually fuck for the bottom.  What gets me off is knowing the bottom is having a good time.  But he was so blank throughout the tryst that I couldn't tell if he was just saying that.  But I kinda let myself off the hook when two weeks later, he was in town and messaged me for a repeat...  because I "knew what he needs."

Um.  Okay.  I guess.  But unfortunately, I wasn't available.  Or maybe fortunately.  Would have sucked if he said, "Yeah.  Wasn't quite it, but thanks for coming over!"


CoolTop said...

I know what you mean about fucking for the bottom. It's very easy to feel good in your own dick-- when I was a teenager I fucked banana skins, for chrissakes-- but there's nothing more intensely satisfying than making someone *else* feel good with your dick! I'm even distressed that most bottoms don't stay hard during fucking, even if they're clearly loving it. But once a guy I used to fuck told me it's just not that kind of pleasure for a bottom, it's completely internal, and said it only made me "hotter" that I didn't understand it, because that meant I was a total top, naturally built for fucking blablabla. I decided that, even if maybe he was full of shit, I would just run with that. Some bottoms are just inscrutable; everything is going on inside, even the emoting or whatever. I have a cocksucker who will blow me all day long if I let him, and he isn't even hard half the time, and makes no noise whatsoever. But he hits me up over and over and spends insane amounts of time edging me and getting me off, like, hours. Not something I really understand. I can't hide when I'm feeling good, personally.

I definitely prefer someone a little more demonstrative. But I've decided a top can never understand some bottoms!

Bruce Chang said...

Banana skins! Now that's an idea!
And then I can call over my bud that's into gunge play to lick me clean. =)

So here's the thing... I thought it was just me that most of the bottoms I fucked also aren't hard. But then I mentally tallied it up and I think they're about half and half. It's just that the ones that aren't hard do baffle me a bit and it's probably just that the one that you don't understand distorts your perception of the rest.

And there's no yaddayaddablahblah about it. I'd flip over and wiggle my ass in the air for you in a heartbeat!

monkey girl said...

I'm going to go ahead and add my two cents even tho I'm a girl. ;)
About the sucking cock thing for hours....yeah, love it. Even with no reciprocation. I could be down there for hours and I'd be happy as a clam. ;).
I do however need to know he's enjoying it. If he's laying there and not making a sound I feel like I'm doing something wrong. But I'm a fairly open and loud partner. When you are doing everything'll know it.

Bruce Chang said...

I do the involuntary grunts, growls, and snarls apparently. Didn't even realize it until one guy said, "I love it when you do that." And I didn't have the slightest clue what he meant til he told me!

And you know, I'd think if you like giving oral then others women like giving head, so why was it that when I used to be a bottom that the "str8" guys I was with complained about not getting any? Hmm...

monkey girl said...

Yeah, I don't know. Some of my girlfriends are like me and really enjoy.....and then there are some who I hear who just hate it. I always feel sorry for the guy who's married to those girls. lol.

Yeah, I didn't realize I was a loud partner either till our daughter walked in at 2am and said she thought I was having trouble breathing. lol.

CoolTop said...

Late to add another comment... but what percent of gay dudes would you say don't like giving head? I'm a top and when a dude has a nice tool I'm all over it-- but there is a nontrivial number of bottoms, even, who don't much like sucking dick. I think that's insane-- I love dick, I will gaze endlessly at pictures of dicks, and a beautiful dick just begs to be sucked-- but there it is. And there are the ones who say they love it and can't get enough of it but you can tell they're not into it and drop it after like 30 seconds. I'm not sure what percent I would say, though... 1 out of 10, maybe?

Bruce Chang said...

Did you hack into my account and read my next post scheduled for tomorrow? Ha! It doesn't make any sense, I know, but it sometimes takes me the second hookup before I'm okay with going down on someone. But I don't think I'm the guy you're talking about... The German Virgin was like that. Didn't want to give head. And I think a lot of the I'll-wait-for-you-ass-up guys are like that too. In fact, I remember one guy that made sure I could get hard without oral before inviting me over. For me, it takes a bit of rapport for me to do it cause I don't think I do it well. Yeah, you'd think that owning the equipment means years of experience knowing what works and what doesn't but it's still more textbook knowledge. It wasn't until I get sucked by this one guy in the college tea room where even I understood what the big deal was. I meant, weak-kneed fireworks and trumpets earth wobbling orgasm by lips alone. Then it was, ah-ha! That's what it's all about! And since then I get kinda self-conscious wondering if I'm that good. But as for guys that just are repulsed by a cock in their mouth but are okay with some anonymous cock in their shit-hole? 10% sounds right!