Sunday, July 14, 2013

"It's not normal to take that long"

Okay, so I've been called a long-lasting top and then I read about some of you guys giving fifty-hour fucks and then I have had bottoms practically slap me to keep me from cumming too quick.  And the elasticity of time always seems to be inversely related to how much time you have.  Have only an hour?  Then you seem to barely get your clothes off at minute 57.  Have the whole day?  Then you're creepin' in front of the house of the trick you just shot in trying to schedule up a double-header because the clock in your car is telling you that you were only there for like three minutes.

But this guy...  ugh.

So I answered an ad for a blow and go and arrived at his hotel on bike half an hour after first contacting him.  I think that was a record.  I mean, on bike!  It was a quick exchange of pics and then the address of his hotel and I was off.  But I should have known it was going to be off when, at the last minute, he asked for a face pic.  I fired off a quick message on my phone with a horrible mug shot and told him to call it off now if we weren't a match because I was gonna be on my bike pedaling over.  Out of cockiness or just out of desperation to lose a load, I don't know but I just took off without waiting for a response.  Luckily he said it was cool when I checked my email when I got to his hotel and I was knocking on his door shortly after.

Good lookin' guy.  Didn't quite look like his pics.  A little older and a lot more tan.  Still pretty handsome and the leather cock ring was a nice touch.

But after flopping on the bed, he asked me when the last time I shot (I honestly answered that I jerked off in the morning) and then a few minutes later, just stopped completely saying, "It's not normal to take that long."  No worries.  Must've been the time warp thing 'cause it didn't feel like that long.  But I get it.

Then as I was unlocking my bike, I pulled out my phone and checked the time.  From the time I first locked up my bike to when I unlocked it was just shy of fifteen minutes.  That includes time trying to navigate the hotel and find the elevators, the chitchat, dressing and undressing and cleaning up and all that. Really?!  I mean, I get it if the chemistry isn't there, but you're really going to call me abnormal because I take more than five minutes to get off?!  And it wasn't just something he made up.  He said it three or four times as I was getting dressed!

Meh.  Every now and then you get a jelly bean flavor you don't like, but it still doesn't stop you from eating the whole bag.  That was on Wednesday.  Already got some stuff lined up for today and tomorrow.


Explorer Jack said...

You're a smart guy. Perhaps you could do an Einstein study about how time warps when one is having sex. I wonder if it warps for the entire universe, or just the participants?

When I take 15 minutes to cum in a guys mouth, it seems normal.

When I'm sucking someones dick, and my teeth are cutting into my upper lip, and I can't seem to work his load out, no matter what I try, that same 15 minutes seems like it lasted the whole entire day.


pt=rt*eq for the blow job recipeint.
(pt=rt*hq)2 for the cock sucker.

(perceived time, real time, ejaculation quotient, horniness quotient.)

Invisibleman46 said...

jeez/I could never cum that fast

Bruce Chang said...

EQ! That's classic!
I know what you mean though, but to call someone abnormal?! Really?!
If I took this all more seriously, I would have quipped back, "No, that skin tone is not normal... Unless you're a reptile maybe"

Bruce Chang said...

I'm taking that as a challenge. When you coming down to OC again? :-)

Upton King said...

As a bottom, if you don't spend at least 20 minutes naked with me, then it's not a fuck, it's a chance encounter. Outdoors? Yeah, being quick is a good thing. But indoors, in private? Come on. I bet the dude had people lined up every 20 minutes and he didn't want you to find out he was such a slut. Great post. - Uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

Bruce Chang said...

Exactly! And I agree what you and FelchingPisser noted about playtime should be greater than round trip travel time. And though I didn't travel far, it still sucked (or rather, didn't suck... well, you get the idea)

FelchingPisser said...

Jeez....I would barely have started....

Bruce Chang said...

But see, you're an animal! And I say that with profound respect and jealousy. Every bit the "sexual warrior" UptonKing has dubbed you. But maybe... just maybe, you're with the majority on this one!

CoolTop said...

If I'm gonna get head, I try to guarantee the cocksucker has some stamina. I think I scare about half the dudes off with my YOU BETTER SUCK ME FOR AS LONG AS I SAY WITHOUT GETTING BORED OR TIRED admonition. The other half are excited by it and obey. Sadly the cutest guys are almost always in the first category. But you gotta suck my dick for at least an hour or I'd rather just pop popcorn and watch Girls again.