Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Snapshot: Avoiding the front desk

When I'm dropping by someone's hotel to dump my load in them, I usually try to avoid the hotel staff at all reasonable cost.  I mean, I usually go in and act as if I know exactly where the elevators are (even though I don't), trying to keep up the illusion that I'm an actual registered guest there instead of one of a pool of guys that are coming by that night to use the same bottom that's advertised their hole on Craigslist.  It's rather silly.  I'm sure they see plenty of people come in and out and they're not even paying attention.  Still, I opt for the fast paced walk to where I think the elevators are in the frantic "I left something back in my room and need to get it real quick"-type saunter.

This hotel, though, is foiling my plans a bit.

Apparently, their parking lot has this system where you can't pay at the gate.  You have to pay at the front desk.  Even if it's under the half-hour mark where it's free.  Unfortunately for me, I think I was upstairs for only 20 minutes.  Not unfortunate that I was under the grace period but that I finished so quick.

I get to the front desk on my way out from fucking my load into the CL whore and I kinda wanna say this:

"Could you validate my parking?  I'll happily pay that ridiculous $10 fee for each millisecond over your two minute grace period, but I'd rather not.  You see, I came here just to fuck this guy that advertised on craigslist that he's a former military guy and wants to be loaded up while he's here from out of town.  But when I got up there, he kinda had this weird body odor thing going on with his skinny guy with with a beer belly frame so I kinda wanted to be sure I got my nut out before you started charging me for using your tiny little parking space.  Luckily, that kid had a sweet wet hole that milked me of my load pretty quick despite not having any other load in there.  Fuck, I wanted to marinate my cock in a cum-lubed ass.  But oh, well. Anyway, could you at least reward me for making an attempt to hurry it up with the cumdump and just validate the parking for free?"

But I didn't say that.  Instead, when I got to the front of the line at the desk I just raised one eyebrow and held up my parking card.  The hotel clerk held out her hand for the card and took it when I handed it over, validated it, and then handed it back.  Not one word was exchanged.

Yeah, I don't know why I bother with the whole charade of being a registered guest sometimes...


BikeGuy said...

you could have said you were 'supporting the troops'.

But I do the same thing. Pretend like I know where I am and what I'm doing there. A cellphone to the ear always helps as no one will bother you when you're "talking".

Oh - and avoid those hotels where you need a key card for the elevator. What a pain.

CoolTop said...

I always wonder what my doormen think. Sometimes I have two or three different guys in here a week. Verrry occasionally one of my visitors will tell me he thought he got a weird look from the desk guy or something like that. They're unfailingly professional with me, but God knows what they all say amongst themselves!

Bruce Chang said...

@bikeguy - oh yeah! And thank god for smart phone culture. I sometimes text the guy as I walk in so it doesn't look weird when I look up and "suddenly realize" I walked in the wrong direction.

@cooltop - do the doormen high-five you randomly? Ha! By the way, let me know when your building is hiring cause I have absolutely no problem with sloppy seconds. Ha

Will said...

When I stay in hotels and have guys in (invariably friends with benefits, not hook-ups) they never have any problem with front desk. Hotels understand that registered guests will have friends and family or business contacts visiting them.
On those occasions when I've been the friend with benefits, I've never been challenged by hotel staff on my way in to get laid.

Bruce Chang said...

Yeah, I haven't either except for once when I called and asked for a fuck buddy's room and they wanted to confirm the name on the room (just to make sure they're dialing the right one). And I totally failed at coming up with a last name. Ha! They put me through anyway, but it was kinda embarrassing and that wasn't even face to face. Sure, they're professionals and I'm sure they've seen everything but we still do it and it's one of those rare moments where I was confronted by the tenuous wall that separated the two completely different lenses, the mundane and the scandalous, even though it happens all the time...