Thursday, August 6, 2015

Musings: Straight guys

So I’ve been on tumblr for a little while now and sorta getting used to it.  It’s taken me awhile to get past all the visual porn collection swapping and get to the first-person textual story telling that I love so much.  They’re out there though.  Shout out to getnakedwithbros​ and datravellr​ and thecheatingboyfriends​ and there are even more guys out there that are pretty open about themselves and it’s a whole new way of story-telling through selfies and reblogs and such.  I’m digressing though.  So getnakedwithbros​ posted an article about straight guys and I was listening to NPR and they mentioned the book that just came out and it got me thinking.

I’m not going to delve into the nuances of the study, but it definitely highlights a few things for me.  There’s quite a few different attitudes toward guys that consider themselves straight but still fuck around with other guys.  You got one camp that thinks the one-drop rule where if you even are curious enough to touch another man’s dick then you’re gay.  There’s my partner that doesn’t believe in bisexuality.  He’s of the “fulcrum” gang that believes that nobody is in the absolute center in term of preference and therefore nobody is truly bisexual and it’s just social constructs that prevents someone from choosing a side.  And then there’s this whole bro culture going on where the gender of the sexual act is inconsequential and even the act itself is more frivolous fun than anything else.  In that case, the whole straight thing is completely valid.

Looking back, I can’t help if each of those attitudes may be partially right.

There was this one straight player-type dude.  Beefy italian guy with a thick cock that I used to service regularly on my way home from work.  He considered himself straight.  I mean, his girlfriend called and left a message on the answering machine during one of my visits (yeah, answering machine.  this was awhile ago) Said I gave him the best head, which was weird because at that point I’ve given head to maybe five guys max.  He still dated and fucked around with women and it definitely felt like that was his preference.  But he also loved being pegged.  I fucked him a number of times and he always claimed it was so intense and I could see a struggle in him ‘cause he fuckin’ loved it but kinda didn’t want to ask for it.  Didn’t have any interest in my cock though.  Well, nothing other than having it nudge his prostate until he came.

Then there’s this one guy recently I met off of CL.  We met on the context of getting together to rub one out and I was in town for the week and we ended up getting together a couple of times.  I ended up raw fucking him to a really intense orgasm where his whole body shook and his legs were wobbly and he was still shaking trying to get to the bathroom to clean himself up.  That freaked him out a little.  Apparently I took his cherry and it was all fun and games until then.  The sex almost seemed “incidental” and just an extension of goofing off.  Like, let’s go grab a drink and talk baseball and oops, I fell on your fucking dick and took your load.  Ha!  You’re a goof.  Whoops!  Hey-yo!  But I think the intensity threw him off.  We hooked up a couple more times on return visits but he became distant and then basically told me he moved (which I can’t verify).

Then on the flipside, there’s another guy that’s in his 50s that I’ve written about earlier back when my blog was on blogger and I apparently robbed him of his cherry too.  He was a drunken mess one time and it didn’t feel right but the other time he was still lucid enough where I didn’t feel like I was raping him.  There, I could tell he was chasing demons, being married with kids and all and though he called himself straight at the time, it was different.  Just recently, I contacted him and he got divorced, has a boyfriend and lives in an apartment.  We decided to get together for ol’ times sake.  And he has a soft spot for me being the first cock to fuck him (he had done a lot of oral before) so we played and his boyfriend knew we’d get together and play.  We made out kinda hard and I pushed him back and before my tongue hit his hole, just my mere breath on it, he let out a big sigh and said, “And this is why I love being gay.”  Man, that guy can take a drilling.

And then...  there are the guys that claim to be straight or bi just to set themselves apart as hypermasculine even though they are gold star gay and would throw up at the sight of pussy.  I’ve had a few fuck buds over the years where I slowly found out that their wife or girlfriends were actually boyfriends and partners and I kinda just laugh it off.  The funny thing about it is that the “straight” guys that I’ve played with all were up for experimenting.  Things weren’t really off limits because it was too gay but more because it was just something they didn’t want to do.  It just wasn’t fun.  Wasn’t a masculinity thing.  Just was unappealing, if that makes any sense.
But yeah, it’s interesting to think back on all the guys I’ve played with.  There’s more than I realized that I’ve fucked with girlfriends and wives away.  My playing has always been a type of sport fucking or casual indulgences of a sexual nature.  It just so happen that the people I choose to connect with on an emotional level also happen to be the same gender that I’d connect with on a casual, incidentally sexual nature as well.


JFBreak said...

So just a couple of quick thoughts. I'm a follower of Dan Savage, the man who has transformed my life in a way, and I like the way he categorizes Bi people. He uses the term "Hetero-Romantic, Bi-sexual" which I think describes me. What that means is, I want sex with both men and women but I prefer women when it comes to romantic relationships.

I totally get the folks who say, "Bi now, Gay later". I've just assumed for a long time that I would wake up one day and leave my wife for a man, spend my retirement going to Broadway shows and live happily gay ever after. But that just hasn't happened. Truth is, I still crave blowing guys, I seriously want to lose my anal cherry (to someone with a small dick) but I can't stop crushing on women. Women I want to have sex with and frankly, fall in love with!

If I suddenly lose all interest in women, I'll be the first one to stand up and say, yes I had a long transition of acceptance, but I'm finally fully gay. In the mean time, based on my own personal experience, I think we are all somewhere in the middle and the only reason people worry about it is that for a long period of time, being gay was so negatively looked upon that men who were capable of going either way simply hid in the shadows of being straight with an occasional dick on the side.

Great post and thanks for the Tumblr links.

Anonymous said...

Great post, very thoughtful. I'm of the fluid belief, that people fall along the line and can swing either way depending on circs. While some are more rigid in their prefs, others can be more open. In some ways, it's like gender. For so long there were only TWO to pick from, despite all evidence, emotional, spiritual and physical to the contrary. People like to pigeonhole stuff.


Bruce Chang said...

Love Dan Savage. Funny that I don't follow him though. Need to change that. And, JFBreak, as far as losing your anal cherry, small is relative, right? Hehe. I think I'm on the smaller side in terms of girth and rather average in terms of length. Just saying (yeah, sorta have a crush on you, kiddo)! And yeah, I think you're one of the guys that I think of when it comes to people trying to come to a universal truth. Which leads to Anon' point which is we have this overwhelming urge to dichotomize when it seems like the reality is that biology, social constructs, and circumstance can all come to play. It all seems very political, which is odd, because no matter which way you spin it people should be nice to other people regardless and to subjugate another group socially, legally, or otherwise is just plain fucked up.

BikeGuy said...

I'm straight!