The one thing that sucks about digital panoramic pictures is it always ends up being letterboxed. So you have all this rich detail but it still fails in trying to capture that human experience, no matter how many zeros and ones you toss at it. And then sometimes, as much as I can sense everything in the peripheral with my own eyes, I am confounded by how limited my vision is. Every now and then I am acutely aware that what I see is eclipsed with physical limitations and those limitations are aptly expressed by the alienating black bars that cut me off from others.
I'm in the house of a bi guy in one of those coastal orange county towns that makes me kinda surprised that the art on the wall is progressive and edgy. At the same time, there's definitely two voices in the room that doesn't make me doubt his story of wanting some guy on guy action while his girl is out of town. Like a tobacco pipe on a doily. Or a five blade razor next to a tampon. That sort of thing, fighting each other, objects bickering throughout the room. If it's a charade to emulate the bi-guy mystique, then it's a real elaborate one.
I had to scoot things along after chatting aimlessly about the latest wave of "bro" movies involving chasing tail and binge drinking, from Animal House to the Hangover. Kinda random, but I was trying to ease into it and the conversation made sense from what was showing on TV. When it was going nowhere, though, I leaned in for kiss and grabbed his hand to lead it to my crotch. The kiss, he deflected by turning away. The hand stayed put and he kneaded the bulge that was growing under my shorts all on his own. Funny thing was that he stopped deflecting my kisses after he got to suck me for a bit. After just a little taste, all reservations were gone and he was all in.
But what really struck me, though, was after we got our clothes off in stages and after he gave me a rather toothy and clumsy blowjob, after I started to suck him and he went from rock hard to soft to hard again. He was on the couch and I was on my knees in front of him and we made out for a bit. Hard. Soft. Hard again. I wasn't sure what was turning him on and what wasn't, but I placed his legs over my shoulder and worked a couple of inches into him while making out. I had to break from the kiss to get better leverage; he was fucking tight as hell. Making out loosened him up for a sec before he'd tighten up again. And it's then. Right then. I see it. I'm there on my knees, pulled back to get better footing, and I see it. As I stared into his eyes, there's a sudden flicker and then he looks away for a moment. I continue to tease his hole with the head of my cock. Just a couple inches. Enough, though. Enough so that he turns back and looks into my eyes, locked unto mine, before his eyes roll back and he shoots his load. Chest heaving. Fully body spasms. I'm not inside him too deep to begin with but his orgasm pushes me out and off. And I'm here thinking, what was it that he saw, that he felt? What is it that makes him disconnect? What brings him back? And what makes him shoot so hard he's still trembling.
I was so close. So I just stood up and shoved my cock in his mouth and the fucker was still keen on sucking me, going ass to mouth.
And I came.
As we were both coming down from that high of spilling our ejaculate, I couldn't shake that momentary flicker in his eyes. I'm never going to fully understand what he saw, what made him pull back, what made him crest over. As much as my hands fumbled all over him earlier, physically peeling the layers back to unsuccessfully sense those unmet desires, my mouth awkwardly tumbled words out of my mouth as we lie there panting. I probed him with questions and learned that he was raised by two dads, been with his girl for a few years, in this house for a bit longer. And instead of words that caressed meaning and insight, they just echoed cold facts and I started to drift. I started to just see myself sitting there, deluded with thoughts that I can see a person fully from their eyes when I'm not sure I can even see properly out of mine.
My field of vision is so severely letterboxed by ego.