I was kinda horrified when I realized that I misunderstood what the 19 year-old kid was trying to intimate when he said he wanted to try sucking cock. I figured he meant that he's fucked around with guys before but just has never sucked anyone. That wasn't the case. He's never even kissed anyone. Guy nor girl. His answer to what he was into was just a bundle of nervous questions. He simply didn't know.
He and I had a little circle jerk with another dude, which he sucked for a couple of seconds before stopping because the lube made things taste bad. And all he could do was ask in earnest, "Am I doing it right?"
I just felt bad that his first time of any sort of sexual contact was with a bunch of craigslist strangers. So I kept in touch and next time I was in town we got together. Lots of making out, body contact, led him gently to explore. We spent a couple hours together as I tried to figure out what he wanted to do without asking him. Just a silent conversation between our bodies. And I ended up making him want my cock up his ass and dumped my load up there. And honestly, the irony about the responsibility totally didn't occur to me until he, quite tentatively, asked me over email if he should get tested. Oh boy. I sent him a long email back with rants about how he should never be ashamed to get tested nor afraid to ask and how not to fall into the trap of using testing habits as a proxy gauge of promiscuity.
Then we talked about he hasn't once had an orgasm with me. Easy to trigger one on his own manually but with me, for some reason he can't in my presence. So I thought maybe he's just not really a bottom. Next time in town, I tested that theory and nope. He's not a top. It wasn't just the inexperience. It was more than that. He's gonna disappoint quite a few bottoms too because he has a massive eight-plus inch rod.
I still feel, for some reason, as if I owe him this one thing: to find out what makes him cum. But I think if you ask him, he'd say that I didn't owe him anything. And that simply talking openly and honestly was exactly just what he needed.
6 comments:
I think this young man is very fortunate to have stumbled upon you -- someone who clearly wants him to have an edifying introduction in the world of gay sex. I think so many kids, particularly of my generation, were introduced to sex by guys wh0 couldn't care less about them. (I was lucky that I didn't have to deal with that.) I hope you and he find what turns him on to the point that he can't hold back. I think he is probably still feeling that what he's doing is wrong and it's inhibiting him. I hope you'll keep us apprised of his progress.
Paul, NYC
You're right! He did mention that he's had a very conservative upbringing and he feels wrong about it, which is probably holding him back. Would love to be the first to make him cum, though!
Keep at it. He may just need to get a bit more comfortable with sex. But try avoid him falling in love with you...
I'm not getting that vibe from him... I get a feeling of fun experimentation rather than intimacy...
Maybe he needs the intimacy. Of course I love to orgasm, but many times I enjoy the closeness of a man, and that is better than having the orgasm.
He does! He loves the intimacy and he remarked that he felt comfortable with me who he knew would be looking out for him as opposed to the other guy we did the circle jerk with that was more of the no frills NSA hookup type. But he also remarked with some dismay that he's frustrated that he can't cum even though he really enjoyed it...
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